Swinging Love
by Greye Granger
Summary: Bella has been married to her high school sweetheart for ten years. Their marriage has gone stale, and they know that something needs to change. It's not conventional, but maybe a swingers bar will help them get back on track...But what happens when the last person she expects to see is at the same bar with his wife? E/B. AH. HEA. BPOV.
1. Chapter 1

**No copyright! You know what belongs to Stephenie Meyer, and I claim none of it :)**

**Some of you know my writing, and how I dish out the sad, then move on. This Bella WILL be very different from our, Shattered Hearts Bella. I swear!**

* * *

**Chapter 1:**

**Routine**

Lately I had been finding myself pondering about writing a book. A book of my life would be in the self help section, no doubt. When did it all become so foreign? My routine was the same, day in and day out, and yet I did nothing to change it. Therefore, I suppose I'm not allowed to complain. Although, how do you change a routine into something you love when you don't know what you want?

I sighed and leaned back into my rocking chair. The crickets and frogs sounded loudly amidst the dark night. My husband was out late working. It was a usual thing, but I wasn't stupid. What kind of environmental lawyer works late? He's working something I knew. I rolled my eyes. We had been married for ten years. Riley Summers proposed fresh out of high school and I was quick to accept. I loved him. Looking back, would I change anything? Absolutely, but not the being with him part.

We married then went straight into college. I graduated after four years in animal care while Riley had to continue on for his law degree. Once we moved away from campus, things began to change. I had my work opening a new riding stable on our property, and Riley was buried in schoolwork and internships. The less time we spent together, the farther we grew apart. He was a stranger to me, just as much as I knew him completely.

What about a divorce? I couldn't deny that I had thought about it once or twice in the past couple of years. I saw divorce as a weakness, a way out, a tremendous failure. If I couldn't handle a marriage, who said I could handle any other relationship properly? Riley was against divorce even more than I was, but being in the South, that was how a lot of people viewed it. Especially our families. We had parents who had been together since the dawn of time. Plus, I didn't want to get divorced; I wanted a happy marriage again.

Sex may not be the key to a successful relationship, but it sure didn't hurt anything either. How terrible I was for being unable to recall the last time he and I were intimate. I cringed and took another sip of my tea. By the end of the day I was too exhausted for sex. Riley made no comment after a while about the lack of intimacy and I figured he had found it in someone else. A woman knows. A strong woman confronts it, a woman who couldn't care less, doesn't. I couldn't care less.

Over time I, Bella Marie Summers, had become a hardened shell. A ghost drifting through her days in a fog. I thought about seeking my way out through drugs, affairs, or anger, but what would I gain? Not myself, that's for certain. I needed a savior: a hero. I laughed at myself. I read too many books. I decided to leave the porch and go to bed alone and sleep until my husband came home. That is, if he came home at all.

* * *

The morning light poured through my windows waking me. As I stirred, I could smell fresh coffee. Riley had come home. I smiled slightly and got out of bed.

"Morning, sleepy," Riley said as I came into the kitchen. He sat at the table with his coffee and a newspaper. I yawned and went to the coffee pot.

"Morning," I mumbled sleepily. I poured creamer in my cup and stirred the coffee until it was a light brown color. I sipped it and instantly felt better. Glancing out of the kitchen window I could see the barn.

"When did you get in?" I asked.

"Oh, late. Fell asleep on the couch," he replied nonchalantly. I rolled my eyes.

"I've gotta get going, though," he said, standing from the table.

"Oh?" I replied glancing to the clock on the wall. "It's only eight."

"Early court case," he assured. "The DA is on my ass." He kissed my cheek and left without another word to me, or me to him. Another routine filled day laid before me. I sighed and went to shower.

* * *

Horses are the most magnificent animals. I thought of them as sacred, and something to be cherished. They're companions, loyal like dogs only better, I think. If you treat them right, they'll take care of you. I owned two horses of my own. The day I brought them home was like bringing home your first child. Diane was a Line Back, my mare and main riding horse while her son, O'Ryan took more after his dad being all black with white socks. We had plenty of land, and two horses didn't seem like enough, so I opened a boarding business. I now care for six horses, not including my own.

After the first three came to stay here, I decided I needed some help, so I hired a college student who was majoring in Equis care. Her name was Alice and she would graduate this year at the top of her class. She was my mini-me in every way, and well beyond her years in knowledge, so it was easy to relate to a twenty year old. Of course, I'm only twenty-seven, but I felt much older mentally. I sighed and opened the bay doors to the barn. I lit my black and mild, the only time I smoked all day, and took a long drag.

All of the horses had been let out to pasture and Alice was just pulling into the driveway. She would stay to feed them all and prepare those who would be ridden today. I had a list of riders that came each day, and it was my favorite thing to teach people how to ride a horse. Most of the clients I had were young children. They were much easier to teach than adults because they soaked up the knowledge, were eager for more, and their level of fear was much lower. The people that boarded their horses here would come and ride, having me teach them, too.

My own two horses were for people that didn't own a horse, but just wanted to learn. Alice bounced up to me and I put my thin cigar out.

"Morning!" She said brightly.

"Hey, Ali," I told her. "How was that science test?"

"I got a B, but Mr. Green said I could do some extra credit." I laughed at her kindly. Alice was obsessed with her grades.

"Good. But I'm proud of you, anyway." Alice smiled and went to the tackle room to begin fixing food for the horses. I was about to join her when a dark SUV pulled into my driveway. Alice stuck her head out of the small room across from me.

"You have an early lesson?" She asked.

"No. Must be a walk up." Alice nodded and went back to her task. I stepped out of the barn towards the SUV.

The driver's door opened and a man wearing old hiking boots stepped out. I walked closer and my breath caught in my throat at the sight of his face smiling at me politely. He was tall, but not too tall, lean, but not incredibly thin, and he had beautiful hair the color of rich copper. I smiled back to him.

"Good morning," I said through a dry throat. His beauty was intimidating to say the least.

"Morning," he replied in a thick Southern accent. His t-shirt was fitted black and he wore old jeans. He ran a hand through his hair and approached me with an extended hand. I took it cautiously and shook politely. His skin sent a shock through my hand that went up my arm. I pulled away quickly, thankful that he hadn't noticed.

"My name is Edward Masen. Are you Bella Summers?"

"I am," I replied.

"Good. I'm at the right place. I was suggested to you by a friend of a friend. You give riding lessons?"

"I do," I replied proudly. I noticed his eyes look me up and down quickly. I flushed. My clothing was old and worn, perfect for horse work, but bad for trying to impress someone. I wore an old gray t-shirt, loose enough to hide what little breasts I had, and my favorite pair of skinny jeans. My boots smelled like horse manure. I groaned inwardly.

"Excellent," he said happily.

"For you?" I asked.

"Yes. Sort of." He chuckled nervously. "Actually, not so much. I promised my niece that I would take her somewhere to continue learning. Her last trainer retired. I used to ride as a kid, but it's been years."

"Oh, I see. Well, I have horses here, or if you would like to learn on your own, you're welcome to bring them here. I board horses as well."

"I actually don't have any horses anymore, so we would need to use yours."

"That's fine. When would you like to start?"

"Are you busy tomorrow?"

"Friday? Let me check." I dashed back into the barn to my office. I picked up my planner and went back to him.

"I have a lesson at one, but that's it."

"Great. Can we come in the morning?" He asked hopeful.

"Is ten, okay?"

"Ten is perfect." I wrote down his name.

"It's forty dollars for an hour," I explained.

"Alright. My niece is only twelve by the way. Is that too young for you?"

"Not at all," I informed. He smiled showing his perfect teeth. My knees shook.

"Great. Her school lets out for summer today, so we plan on summer lessons. She wants to compete eventually."

"I give a wide variety of lessons, including competition styles," I replied.

"You do it all, huh?"

I laughed kindly. "Not hardly," I replied. Edward extended his hand to me again. I took it, preparing myself for the shock. It came, and he noticed it, too. We parted. His golden eyes sparkled in wonderment.

"See you tomorrow," he finally said. I smiled and gave a small wave. He left me in shambles. I watched him drive away and my breathing returned to normal.

"Who was that?" Alice asked from behind me.

"A guy wanting lessons," I replied distantly.

"He's so hot," Alice noted. I turned and rolled my eyes at her.

"Oh, please," she furthered. "As if you didn't notice!" I laughed and went back into the barn.

Never before, not even with Riley had a man ever affected me sodeeply at the first meeting. I needed to keep my wits if I was going to be a good and professional trainer and not drool all over him. I felt a small twinge of shame, looking down to my plain gold wedding band, but it passed quickly. I felt like maybe my routine would begin to change for the better. Apparently I needed to change something in order for my routine to become more exciting. I decided to start taking bigger risks, and not asking so many questions. Dwelling on my life wouldn't get me very far anyway. It was time to start living again.

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**And I'm back again! Welcome to Swinging Love.**

**The first two chapters are what get the ball rolling into the "good stuff," so hang tight! They're also the shortest chapters so after 2, be ready for much longer ones :D**

**This story is rated M for a reason as it will be filled with lemons, language and adult situations.**

**Come on over to Stories by Greye Granger on FB for pic inspirations, update news, teasers, and more!**

**Thank you Beffers87 as always for being my rock, pre-reader, and banner extraordinaire!**

**Thank you Roniangel85 for the beta work! I look forward to working with you.**

**Those of you who read Ride to You, I am doing an epilogue for that story for the Fandom for Oklahoma!**

**Thanks for reading! And I will post chapter 2 sometime towards the end of the week. I'll let you know my "set scheduling" as soon as I know it ;)**

**xx**

**Greye**


	2. Chapter 2: Indecent Proposal

**Chapter 2:  
Indecent Proposal**

Friday morning arrived and I was looking forward to the day before me, but I was also incredibly nervous. It took me half the day yesterday to admit to myself that it was because of Edward coming this morning at ten. Riley left for work the same as every other day with a kiss to my cheek and very little small talk. I wasn't complaining. I didn't miss him touching me after so long, but I did miss the friend that I had in him.

After Riley was gone, I spent my time getting ready. I wore a pair of clean jeans, my clean, brown riding boots, and a purple and white floral print button up. It was more western looking than formal. I braided my long auburn hair neatly and even put on some perfume. It was childish, I knew that, but I was enjoying being excited too much to care.

Alice was already at the barn feeding the horses when I walked over.

"Don't you look nice," she boasted. I stuck my tongue out at her. Though she wasn't very fond of Riley, I still didn't disclose too much about my marriage to her or anyone else. Alice only knew that I was unhappy, and she figured that out on her own. I went to the office to grab the proper paperwork for Edward when I heard his car pulling up the long drive.

I tried taking my time walking out to him. It was mid May and the weather was perfect. Being in the south, May was a good time because the humidity wasn't too excruciating, yet. The trees and flowers were blooming everywhere, and the horses stayed out to pasture most of the time.

Edward got out of the car in jeans and a dark green shirt. It was a button up, similar to mine. My smile was welcoming. He smiled back warmly and waited by the car as a small girl climbed out of the back seat. She was just as breathtakingly beautiful as her uncle was. Her sandy brown hair was long and wavy and she sort of had an olive color to her skin. She bounced up to Edward and they walked towards me.

"Lucy, this is Bella, your new trainer," Edward said. I smiled to her and extended my hand. She giggled slightly and placed her small hand in mine.

"Hi," she said sweetly.

"I'm looking forward to seeing you ride, Lucy," I replied. She giggled again and looked to Edward. He nodded, and she took off to the fence. O'Ryan waltzed over to her.

"I really appreciate this," Edward said. I continued to watch Lucy with my horse. She was petting his face softly.

"It's no problem," I replied. "I just need you to sign a couple of things," I said, handing him my clipboard and pen. Edward nodded and flipped through the paperwork accordingly. He signed his name, and handed it all back. I clutched the pen to my chest that he had just held in his hand.

"Most days it will be my mother who brings her."

"Oh, okay," I replied, trying to hide my disappointment. My eyes glanced down to Edward's long fingers and saw a thick, gold wedding band. My insides twisted painfully.

"Can I ride him?" Lucy squeaked from the fence. My head snapped up.

"Of course," I replied. Lucy beamed excitedly. I slowly walked over to her, feeling Edward's eyes on my backside.

"Your uncle tells me that you have ridden before?"

Lucy nodded. "Yes, George was a good teacher. I miss him."

"Well, I'm looking forward to working with you, Lucy."

"Me too! Can you teach me to ride for show?"

"Absolutely. Lets go saddle O'Ryan. He likes you." My black horse nudged Lucy's hand. "Western or English saddle?"

"Western!"

"That's my favorite, too," I gushed. Lucy laughed and hopped along my side.

**...**

Edward let Lucy ride solo today with me close by. Her uncle would cheer and clap from behind the fence accordingly. When his eyes met mine, I melted away each time. Alice watched from the barn and waggled her eyebrows every time I looked at her. She made me feel even more uneasy. If she could notice how taken I was with a married man, Edward must be able to tell as well, right? I swallowed hard.

We practiced for two hours in the corral, and I was amazed by the young girl's enthusiasm. She was eager to learn, and soaked up every bit of information I gave her. O'Ryan was good to her, too. He was a patient horse, perfect for kids.

"Thank you so much, Bella!" Lucy exclaimed as she ran up to me. Her thin arms wrapped around my waist. I smiled and hugged her back after I closed the corral gate.

"You're a great rider," I told her. She blushed.

"I really like O'Ryan. Can I ride him again on Monday?" She asked.

"Absolutely." Lucy squealed in excitement and ran out to their car. Edward approached me with a smirk.

"You're great with her," he complimented. I smiled embarrassed.

"She's a lovely kid. I'm sure her parents appreciate it." Edward's smile faded, but only for a moment. He nodded to me.

"Monday?" He asked. I couldn't help but notice when his eyes went to my feet, then back up to my face slowly.

"Monday," I agreed shakily. He smiled widely and turned to leave. My heart sank briefly, but brightened when I thought about possibly seeing him again only a few days from now. It would get me through the weekend.

**...**

"Good dinner," Riley said through a mouthful of food. I smiled and cut into my chicken. Riley swallowed his food and sighed. It was the third sigh in as many minutes.

"What?" I finally asked, taking my bite of food. He shook his head and sighed again.

"Spit it out," I urged, annoyed. Riley rose from the table and grabbed another beer. He brought me a second wine cooler and I thanked him.

"Are you happy?" He asked suddenly. I choked on my chicken in surprise. Riley waited patiently for me to recover. I finished my current drink and opened the next.

"Um, yes?" I finally offered. Riley frowned. "Are you?"

"Yes and no," he replied. "We're unhappy together, Bella. I think we should get some help." I wouldn't argue with him there.

"Like more counseling?" I asked.

"Of a sort," he replied shakily. I frowned and leaned back in my chair with my drink. He sat across from me at our small table and held his beer bottle tightly.

"Of a sort?" I questioned.

"Why don't we have sex anymore?" He asked. I snorted loudly.

"You tell me," I scoffed. He shrugged. "I don't know, Riley. Work takes a lot out of us, I guess." Why were all of my answers a lie?

"I guess. Maybe we could try something different," he suggested quietly. His finger began peeling off the beer label. He was nervous about something so strongly that he was acting like a teenager in trouble.

"Like?" I furthered, still annoyed.

"A guy at work mentioned this club in the city."

"You want to go dancing?" I said with a small laugh.

"It's a swingers club," he clarified stiffly. My jaw fell to the table in shock. Swingers were something you heard about in large cities or in the movies. I had no idea that people actually practiced such a thing around these parts. The south was so different, although maybe I just wasn't well educated in that field. I blinked rapidly, trying to gather my wits.

"You're joking," I said. Riley shook his head.

"Riley, we don't even sex, but you want to openly go fuck someone else?" He nodded slowly, eyeing me carefully.

"I heard that it helps marriages. Paul, the guy who recommended it, said it saved his marriage!" He argued with force.

"How so?" I spat disgusted.

"Oh, don't tell me you haven't thought about screwing someone else," he defended. I raised my eyebrows and almost yelled in my defense, but stopped when Edward popped into my mind.

"Thought so," Riley retorted. I frowned, thoroughly frustrated.

"This is so messed up," I replied. "Where is all of this coming from? I mean, why don't you just ask for a divorce?"

"Why don't you?" He countered. My frown deepened. Why didn't I?

"If this doesn't work, we'll discuss divorce, okay?" He suggested softly. "But I don't want to even think about it until we've tried other things that may end up helping us, you know? We should try all the available options before giving up."

"I didn't know that something like this was an option," I argued. "It's creepy."

"But something you wouldn't regret if it helped us, right?" He countered.

I sighed. "Fine." This was our last hope of sorts. We had done the marriage counseling, separate counseling, and spent time apart, but nothing seemed to bring us closer together anymore.

"Good. We can go there tomorrow night, and if nothing comes of it, we'll come home," he assured. I nodded and left the table with my drink while Riley went to watch his sports. I went out onto the porch to clear my head, settling into my welcoming rocking chair with a soft sigh.

What had I just agreed to? It felt like Riley was so eager to shove me off onto some other man. It irked me. Suddenly, I secretly began to wish that Edward would be there. I took a deep breath. Riley was right. It couldn't hurt to try, and maybe it would be wild and fun.

I wanted to start living again, right? The worst that could happen wasn't anything that wasn't bad already between Riley and me. Sadly, I began to wish hard on every star I could see that it could be Monday already.

I was nervous, scared, anxious and a little excited. Riley was the only man I had ever been with, and maybe that was the problem. I married so young, before I could see anyone else, or even get to know myself. No one could ever know of this arrangement or I would be mortified, but I didn't feel like that would keep me from doing it. I needed it...I needed something, and maybe this was it. I wanted to love my husband again, and want him sexually, so maybe another woman could refresh my memory. I didn't know, but I was curious enough to find out.

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**Now we're getting into the good stuff. I can't wait for you all to read Chapter 3!**

**Come check out Stories by Greye Granger on Facebook. You all have to see the amazing banner made for this story by Beffers87! I'll also begin posting pictures of Bella's house etc.**

**Have a great weekend, and thanks so much for the love on this story so far! It's been wonderful!**


	3. Chapter 3: Swing

**Chapter 3:  
Swing**

Riley and I entered the nightclub called, Swing New, very slowly. I couldn't stop myself from clinging to his arm tightly. I felt like I was already cheating on him, and it made my stomach hurt. Riley on the other hand, was looking at everything in awe. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and that only sickened me further. I forgot why I had agreed to do this.

I dressed as nice as my wardrobe allowed in high black heels, and a silver chiffon dress that I wore years ago to a town benefit. I was surprised that it still fit, and I loved the way it swayed when I moved. I pinned half of my hair back and let the rest fall freely. My eyes were itching from the mascara that I never wore. Riley dressed in a suit and slicked his light hair back. He tugged on my waist to pull me further into the fancy bar.

Couples could be seen everywhere. Mixed races, genders, pairs of two or more, and sometimes as many as four in one spot, littered the booths and bar. Everyone appeared to be talking sensually, some kissing, and some leaving with someone new. My cheeks heated in embarrassment for what was yet to come. We took a seat at a booth in the back and a waitress came up to us. She was smiling slyly.

"Bloody Mary," I choked.

"Gin, please," Riley asked smoothly. The waitress nodded and left. Riley rubbed his hands together and began searching the room as if he were looking to purchase something valuable.

"See anyone?" He asked brightly. I rolled my eyes.

"No. This is so fucking weird, Riley," I told him truthfully. "It feels so wrong to be looking for other men when I am right next to you, let alone married to you in general!" I screeched. Riley pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Look around you, babe. Everyone else is doing it and they're having a great time. Chill the fuck out, and just loosen up, will you? You said you would try and you might even like it." I studied his happy face and finally nodded.

"You would like seeing someone else fuck me?"

"I think it could be hot if you'd just let it."

The waitress had returned with our drinks and I had never been happier to see a glass of alcohol before me. Riley began to search the room again, and my eyes slowly started to do the same.

When you haven't ever been with anyone sexually except your husband of ten years, you tend to forget what you desire in a man. I wasn't even sure what my type was anymore. Riley had become so familiar that he had lost his type. He was just Riley, my husband. The other men throughout the room all looked attractive enough, but no one had me taking any second glances.

That was until my eyes caught a flicker of copper hair under a bar light on the opposite side of the club. I searched through the dancers on the dance floor to find it again. When I did, I was met with golden eyes staring back at me.

I looked away in embarrassment. Had I truly seen him? My mind was surely playing tricks. I took a big gulp of my drink and looked back to the table across the way. Sure enough, Edward was still staring at me. A smile broke across his lips and he stood up. My breathing hitched exponentially. The dancers parted just enough for me to notice a beautiful blonde woman standing next to him. She was eyeing the crowd much like Riley was doing. It was almost like a dance itself. Like a tiger on the prowl, searching for a desire they so longed for as if they needed it to find it for their survival. Edward's eyes hadn't left me yet.

I nudged Riley. "What about them?" I suggested easily.

I felt brave from my newfound desire. Riley looked ahead of us and smiled wickedly. I wanted to slap him, but was also happy that he didn't refuse.

"Yeah," he agreed.

Just then, Edward whispered something to the woman next to him, and now they both stared at me and my husband. I tried gathering all of my wits and courage as they began walking towards us. They came up to our table smiling politely.

"Hi there," The blonde said. Riley smiled.

"Hello yourself."

"I'm Kate, and this is Edward. Are you two new here?" She asked. Riley looked to me as if I was supposed to answer. All I could do was nod.

"Good, so are we," she gushed, letting out a breath of air. My eyes went to Edward. He suddenly looked as uncomfortable as I felt.

"Yeah, we aren't really sure how any of this works exactly. I'm Riley." Kate smirked seductively.

"Well, Riley, would you like to join me at the bar?" She asked.

Riley nodded enthusiastically. He was like a sick puppy and it was embarrassing. He nodded to me and got up to leave. I watched Kate wink at her husband, then take my husband by the hand. It didn't hurt to see, it just felt very strange. It was almost like this was all a dream and I was watching myself through dirty glass. Edward sat down in Riley's seat.

"Wow," he said.

"Yeah," I replied, still embarrassed.

"I'm so glad to see you here," he admitted in a rush. My face lifted.

"Really?" I asked, sounding hopeful. He turned to look at me.

"Fuck yes. I didn't even know what sort of place this was until we got here. Kate heard about it from a friend."

"Well I knew, I just wasn't very ecstatic to come," I complained. Edward laughed kindly. The sound came from deep within his chest.

"I'm not exactly complaining, but it sure is different. I hope this won't make things awkward for us and the riding lessons with Lucy."

"No, no," I assured him.

"At least we aren't stuck with ugly strangers," he offered lightly. I laughed for the first time in hours. We looked back to our spouses who seemed to be hitting it off fairly well.

"What brings you in here?" He asked.

"Besides the obvious?" We both laughed nervously. "Uh, just trying something new."

Edward nodded. "Me too. Sort of. My wife likes weird things," he admitted, then coughed. "She's easily bored. I mean...shit, I'm a mess."

I laughed softly. "So am I." Edward's face lightened. "How long have you been married?" I asked.

"Only four years. You?"

"Ten," I replied.

"Impressive," he said.

"Not really. Not if we're here," I pointed out lamely. Edward chuckled.

"I'm glad you are," he said kindly. My cheeks heated. My wishing had paid off, but part of me felt like getting Edward was too good to be true. I finished my drink and Edward waved a waitress over, ordering us two more.

"So, how often do you watch Lucy?" I asked, desperate for different conversation.

"I'm her legal guardian, actually. My sister Rosalie and her husband Emmett died when Luce was five." He spoke fondly of her.

"I'm so sorry," I said. I wanted to kick myself.

"Me too, but I have Lucy." He smiled and it made me feel better. Edward ran a hand through his hair and I took in his appearance for the first time tonight. My mouth dropped open when I realized he was in a black tux. All I looked at before was his copper hair and gold eyes. I sighed inwardly. He was too beautiful to be sitting next to me.

"I lost my father a few years ago. It's tough."

Edward nodded knowingly. "I'm sorry to hear that." He looked back to Kate and Riley.

"So, if they like each other, what does that mean?" I asked shakily, nodding towards our couple at the bar.

"Some swingers court one another for a while, and others just fuck, I think," he replied nonchalantly. "From what I see on TV," he added with a chuckle.

"This doesn't bother you?" I asked in surprise. "To see your wife with someone else?"

Edward sighed. "My marriage to Kate was chosen by our families. She was Rosalie's best friend. It's complicated. Lucy was left to her and I both, and over time we became good friends, so we decided to get married for Lucy."

"That's noble," I hedged. I felt like he was leaving something out in his explanation. Edward huffed lightly. The waitress returned with our new round of alcohol. I reached for my drink as quickly as I had the first time. Edward did, too.

"What about you?" He asked.

"Yes, it bothers me, but not for the reasons it should." Edward looked at me, obviously confused. His lips were parted slightly and my mind went into a fog. I could see a hint of his tongue. I squeezed my legs together and forced my eyes away.

"We're unhappy. Riley thinks this will help, and as hard as it is for me to admit it, I don't think there is help for us at all anymore. It's mostly just strange, you know? It feels like I'm on a date with my brother trying to choose a suitable partner for him. It feels wrong." Edward smiled sweetly. It felt odd talking with a stranger about my marital issues, but it was also a relief, so I didn't regret it. I mentally made a promise to myself that I wouldn't be upset if Edward suddenly ran for the hills at any point in the evening. Although, something about him made it easy for me to trust him.

"I can understand that," he replied. We fell silent, but I felt better with all of that off my chest and looked back to Riley. He was laughing with Kate.

"Bella, would you like to dance?" I looked up from my drink and smiled.

"Yeah, I think I would," I replied. We stood up and Edward threw some money on the table. He gave me his hand and I took it firmly. His long and slender finger engulfed mine with ease. We walked onto the dance floor and Edward pulled me to his chest. I couldn't decide which look was sexier on him: casual clothes or a suit? Both had me severely turned on.

A famous radio song that I hated began to play as we took our spot on the floor. We started dancing to the music and it felt freeing. I hadn't looked over to Riley in a while, focusing solely on Edward. My hands held tight around his neck with his on my hips. I gazed into his golden eyes and realized how badly I wanted to kiss him. I think I was allowed to, but I was afraid of liking it too much. Suddenly, my hips pressed against his hotly. Electricity began to form between us. It felt like we could light up an entire city.

_Tonight I will love, love you tonight  
Give me everything tonight  
For all we know we might not get tomorrow  
Let's do it tonight_

_Forget what they say  
All my cares, they play  
Nothing is enough  
'Til I've had enough_

The annoying song had a fast beat, and the lyrics seemed fitting. I smiled, then went stiff when all of a sudden, Edward leaned down to my ear.

"Bella, I like you," he whispered. My grip tightened around him.

"I don't know how to express this feeling very well, Edward," I admitted sheepishly. I shivered from his hot breath on my ear.

"What feeling would that be?" He asked in a voice softer than velvet. I swallowed hard, and felt courage rise within me.

"I want you," I replied strongly. He kissed just below my ear lobe.

"I want to fuck you while your husband watches, Bella," he whispered seductively. His voice burned me like acid, but I wanted more. My knees buckled but Edward caught me before I could fall. It was all happening so fast, but the speed kept me from any second thoughts. I grabbed his face and with one look to Riley kissing Kate's neck, I forced my mouth to Edward's lips.

We kissed hard and fast with nothing holding us back. Everyone else in the room was doing something of the same, so I knew no one would notice us in particular. I was alone with Edward in a tux on the dance floor with him in my arms. His tongue tasted like sweet liquor. He suddenly pulled away breathlessly and took my hand. We walked over to our spouses. Riley watched me with a hazy smile.

"We're ready to go," Edward informed them. Kate and Riley looked to each other wantonly. I tightened my grip around Edward's hand. He responded with a squeeze.

"Whose place?" Kate asked.

"We have a king bed," Riley informed proudly. Kate took his arm and they led the way out of the bar.

I rode with Edward back to my house in silence. I wanted him now, but a large part of me wanted to wait for Riley to watch. He would see what he had been missing with me, and what Edward would be getting. It was a turn on, and I wasn't ashamed of it. Edward opened my door for me as I got out of his SUV in my driveway. Riley and Kate were already inside.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to," Edward assured as we stepped onto the porch. The night air was hot and sticky.

"I want you," I confirmed again. Edward smiled and kissed my lips once more. Never had I felt such softness against my mouth. Riley came onto the porch. His shirt and shoes had been removed. Edward winked at me then went inside.

"You okay?" Riley asked when we were alone. I nodded hastily. I didn't care what he did with who ever. I wanted Edward and I felt his need for me in return. It was a need for me that Riley had lost long ago.

"You're not weirded out?"

"Not at all," I replied truthfully. He hesitated, then slowly nodded and we went inside. Edward sat on the couch with Kate. They stopped whispering as we neared them. I noticed that they sat far apart which pleased me. Edward stood and came over to me. All four of us walked back to the bedroom.

"Here we are," Riley breathed at the doorway. "So, we just...do it now?" We all laughed nervously.

"In the same room?" I asked in bewilderment.

"Why not? It could be fun," Edward countered. I shut my mouth, happily going along with whatever he suggested.

"For the record," Kate began dutifully. "We're clean. I'm on the pill, and Edward –"

Edward suddenly coughed loudly, causing all of us to look his way. He stared at Kate with dark eyes for a fleeting moment. I wouldn't have noticed at all had I not been staring at him. An awkward silence passed.

"I'm on the pill," I whispered shyly.

"Fucking lucky us, huh?" Riley boomed, reaching around me to clap Edward on the back.

"Yep," he snapped. I frowned, but it lessened when Edward took my hand sweetly. Riley went to the stereo and put on a John Legend album. Music filled the room.

Kate immediately removed her dress. She had a stunning body. I grew insecure instantly. Her tanned – obviously from a tanning bed – skin and large breasts had me wanting to bolt out of the room in a large robe. Riley's eyes nearly popped out of his head as he took her in. Edward didn't look to her once; instead coming around to my side of the bed and removing his clothes. The music was loud and filling.

"Don't pay attention to them," he whispered in my ear. I smiled and kicked off my heels.

Edward stood bare chested before me. His chest hair was darker than the hair on his head, and led a trail all the way down to his crotch. I leaned in and kissed his sternum. I felt his breathing hitch. He undid his pants button and slid them down to the floor along with his boxers. His erection sprang free. It wasn't as pink as Riley's, and I liked that. I couldn't help my shy, yet giddy smile. I removed my dress and tossed it on top of his clothes.

I stood naked before him both emotionally and physically. It was exhilarating. He kissed my mouth hard and lowered us onto the bed. I could feel Kate's arm next to me as I kissed her husband with all I possessed. Edward's hand drifted down to my heat and cupped it. I gasped, then twisted my hips, positioning myself properly. Edward broke our kiss to bury his face in my hair as he played with me.

I turned my head to see Riley watching us. He was smiling as Kate gave him a blow job. Edward didn't hesitate, regardless of the other set of eyes on us. He suddenly pushed his erection into me and I moaned. Riley made a face of pleasure, then went back to enjoying Kate. He was turned on by Edward fucking me, and It furthered my own arousal. It was all so confusing, but I didn't allow those thoughts to consume me.

We had entered into an alternate universe where everything became sex and nothing else. It didn't matter who was fucking who. I forced the couple next to me out of my mind to focus on the pleasure that Edward was giving me. His dick filled me fuller than any had ever before. I wrapped my legs around him, forcing him deeper. Shocks of electricity shot through me painfully, but I only wanted more.

Edward moaned into my mouth as he thrusted forcefully. I could hear cries of ecstasy from Kate beside me as Riley shoved into her from behind. All of that too, turned me on. Edward kissed me passionately and I lost it all. My orgasm broke through my body like a wild fire. Edward came seconds after, calling out my name. It wasn't long before the two people next to us did as well. I cried out happily and Edward collapsed on top of me. I held him close as he kissed my neck. The music continued to play, drowning out our ragged breathing. I turned to see Kate and Riley cuddling, both on the verge of sleep.

No words were necessary. Edward rolled until he was beside me. This king bed was finally getting good use. I sat up to pull the sheet overtop of us. He gently opened his arms for me to fold myself into. I snuggled against his chest and he kissed my head. We fell asleep peacefully in each other's arms.

_Say that you'll stay a little  
Don't say bye-bye tonight  
Say you'll be mine  
Just a little bit of love  
Is worth a moment of your time_

_I'll keep you safe in these arms of mine  
hold on to me pretty baby  
you will see I can be all you need if you stay  
won't you save, save room for me_

* * *

**Songs-Save Room by John Legend and Give Me Everything by Pitbull**

**So! A foursome?! I know some of you were like, "swingers?!"  
**

**My objective with this story is to show that some people prolong the inevitable. They live in denial. What consequences come from making bad decisions and who suffers from them.**

**I sincerely hoped you enjoyed the chapter! Be ready for more!**

**I have posted a picture of Bella and Riley's house and the amazing beffers87 has created another perfect manip for this story!**

**Thank you Roniangel85 for your beta work!**


	4. Chapter 4: The Morning After

**Chapter 4:  
The Morning After**

His hands searched my body as something new and exciting, every inch as a place to be worshipped with kisses. I giggled beneath the whispers of his long and slender fingers as they traveled up my inner thigh. I could be insecure about a lot of things. I wasn't completely hairless where most women are these days, under the panties, and I didn't have a six pack.

My long hair was untamed, and my skin was still recovering from its last sunburn. Freckles were placed out of order all over, and I never knew what to do with my hands. I laughed at myself. I wasn't that insecure. I was a women on the verge of turning thirty with nothing to lose.

I enjoyed having long legs, ivory skin, dark hair, and piano playing fingers. Apparently Edward loved all of those things, too, among others. I giggled again when he nibbled on my belly button. His head full of hair tickled my breasts as he went further down. I stopped breathing and fell serious at once. Oral felt much more personal than what we had done so far.

I bit my lip, not to hide fear, but to suppress my moan. Edward's hot tongue licked me up and down. I wanted to squeeze my legs closed when the pleasure became too intense. We couldn't wake the sleeping pair next to us and be caught in the act. Edward continued his lapping, and when I felt a long finger enter me at the same time, I bit down harder until my lip released blood. It was all I could do to keep from crying out his name.

"Some night, huh?" My mind snapped back to reality and I sat up straight. I wiped my mouth when I felt a slight drip of drool from my reminiscing of the hours spent with Edward before dawn. Kate took a seat in the rocker next to mine on the front porch. She wore Riley's white button up, and his suit jacket from the night before. Her long, tan legs were toned and shimmery. I swallowed hard.

"Oh, yeah," I coughed. She flipped her blonde locks behind her shoulder and sipped on her mug of coffee. It was well after ten in the morning, but the night's rainstorm had left the start of the day in a hazy fog, making it feel much earlier than it was.

"Are they still asleep?" I asked.

"Out like lights," she giggled. "Edward is a sleeper anyway."

"Riley, too," I added with a laugh. We were quiet for a while, and I was suddenly embarrassed around her. What I had shared with her husband was something we had in common, and something that wasn't personal since it was shared between multiple people.

"So, what did you think?" She asked perkily. All I could do was nod with a smile. Kate laughed.

"God, that Riley sure does know what he's doing, huh?"

"Mhmm," I lied.

"And what about Edward? The man works magic with those fingers, am I right?" I choked on coffee.

"This isn't awkward for you?" I blurted.

Since the morning had come, and coffee had begun to awaken me, I felt dirty and ashamed. My personal life was now a living scandal. Thank God there weren't any local tabloids around this city. The four of us would no doubt be front page news.

"Sex is a part of life, Bella," she replied easily. I frowned.

"But...the sanctity of marriage –"

"Isn't very binding when the couple wants to experiment." My shoulders dropped. She was right. We were the ones that allowed this to happen as much as our spouses. I wasn't sure what my marriage meant anymore.

"I mean, didn't you enjoy it? Don't you feel...exhilarated?" She asked curiously. She shook her shoulders and inhaled the morning air deeply. My eyes went to ground.

"Yes. That's what is worrying me," I whispered.

"Worry less, live more," she advised. "I feel great."

I was about to question her further, but my heart stopped beating when I heard tires over gravel. My head swiveled to the left to see a red truck with a trailer attached heading our way. I stood up frantically, fixing my hair and patting my old t-shirt and shorts flat.

"Who's that?" Kate asked. The big, red Ford parked behind Edward's dark SUV.

"My mother," I mumbled. Renee Swan walked around the vehicles and stopped dead in her tracks at the bottom of the porch steps. She studied Kate with wide eyes, then looked to me questioningly.

"Hi there," Kate piped in her sweet southern accent.

"Hello," Renee replied skeptically. "Who are you?" Her hair was braided perfectly tight, her riding boots and her clothes were new, and she carried a large invisible chip on her shoulder that could weigh down the world. My mother was as tough as stone.

"Oh," I laughed nervously. "Mom, this is –"

"Her best friend, Kate Masen," Kate interrupted, saving me from saying something stupid and unbelievable. Renee frowned.

"I was unaware that my daughter had a best friend. Or that she still held sleep overs." Kate's smile faded.

"Of course I do, Ma," I said, still laughing nervously. Renee's eyes went from Kate's bare feet up to her make-up smeared face. Kate shuffled her feet uncomfortably. My mother could make anyone shudder.

"What do you need, Mom?" I groaned.

"I...I'm gonna go inside," Kate said. I looked to her apologetically. I'm sure she could feel the judgement that my mother was boring into her through her eyes. "And uh, call Edward's," she whispered. I nodded. Do they share custody with her and Edward?

"Bella Summers," Renee snapped once Kate was out of sight. I rolled my eyes, and put my old riding boots on that sat by the screen door. I didn't speak until we were at least a hundred yards away from my house.

"Were those Riley's clothes that girl was wearing?" Renee hissed.

"Of course not!" I lied. "They're her husband Edward's."

"Who?" I stopped walking to unlock the barn doors.

"We had some friends over. It got late, and we didn't want them driving home, so they slept in the guest bedroom," I stated strongly. Renee eyed me carefully before giving up with a shrug.

"Whatever dear," she replied. My chest eased. "It just looked like –"

"Like what, Mom?" I snapped. I stomped down the breezeway with her on my heels.

"Like an orgy," she finished. I spun around to face her in shock. She was smiling, then burst into laughter.

"Mom!" I wasn't annoyed with her statement as much as I was her treating me like I was a teenager.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she defended. "I'm just in a pissy mood today. One of my horses broke an ankle."

"Oh, no," I replied worriedly. Renee nodded.

"That's why I'm here. I was hoping to borrow O'Ryan." My mind instantly flew to Lucy and her love for my horse.

"O'Ryan?" I squeaked.

"Yeah. It'll only be a couple of months. I have a student with a show coming up, and she's going to win gold, she just needs the proper horse. I thought since Pepper broke her ankle, you could lend me him, and I'll lend you Chester to compensate for your lessons. Poor boy is just too old for competition, but perfect for kids."

I nodded slowly. "What about Diane?" I countered. "O'Ryan is just beginning his show training, and you know Diane has already won."

"I didn't think you'd let me borrow Diane," she replied simply. I smiled.

"Be my guest." Renee hugged my neck tightly and thanked me profusely. Anything for my mother.

**-.-**

I sent Renee on her merry way with my prize winning horse in tow, and could finally breath again. I loved my mother, but only as much as she allowed me to. She was superficial with everything but horses. It had always been difficult to speak with her on a personal level. She adored Riley and thought extremely highly of him. My husband could do no wrong in her eyes. She had been married to my father for thirty years before he passed away a few years ago.

When she lost him, she lost more of herself. I couldn't blame her, but it didn't stop me from searching for the real Renee Swan. She was judgmental of my life, and wanted it to run perfectly. After a while, I came to want the same things she did.

The fog of the morning had dissipated into the early afternoon, and I could smell bacon as I entered my home. I breathed in heavily realizing that I was famished. I stood quietly at the entrance of my kitchen and watched three lovers maneuver around easily.

Riley flipped bacon at the stove with Kate grabbing plates from the cabinet, and Edward pouring fresh coffee into three mugs. I watched them for a while before moving, mesmerized by the simplicity and comfort they all seemed to feel. I was jealous, I think. But of whom? Kate's overwhelming sexual power over my husband, or the small body grazes she shared in passing with her husband?

Riley noticed me first, and sauntered over with a wide smile across his face. I frowned slightly. He kissed my mouth with more fervor than I knew he was capable of. I couldn't close my eyes to give into his kiss, instead looking over his shoulder at Edward. He wore a sad smile that stung my heart.

"Morning wife," Riley cooed softly. I smiled.

"Breakfast at noon?" I teased.

"Better late than never," Edward countered with a smirk. My cheeks heated as I caught his eyes appraising my body. I could still smell us, his sweat mixed with mine.

"What did Renee want?" Riley asked. I took a seat at the table and poured myself more coffee. My body tensed up when I felt Edward sit down next to me, across from his wife. Riley placed a full plate of bacon, eggs, and toast down in front of each of us.

"Diane," I said simply. "She's going to bring Chester by tomorrow as a trade for a couple of months." Riley nodded after taking the seat across from me. He dug into his food immediately.

"You breed horses?" Kate asked between bites of food.

I scooped food onto my plate. "Board them," I corrected. "And give riding lessons."

"Oh, really? My niece wants lessons!" She said excitedly. I frowned and looked to Edward. His eyes fluttered nervously.

"Yeah, uh, could we arrange something?" He asked me. I was about to wonder why he hadn't told her about me, but then I remembered that I hadn't told Riley about him.

I nodded slowly. "Sure." Kate grinned widely. "So what do you do?" I asked her.

"I'm a receptionist for a law firm," she said happily. My eyes shot over to Riley.

"Oh?" I squeaked.

"Yeah, oh?" Riley asked, just as surprised. "I'm a lawyer."

"No!" Kate exclaimed. Riley nodded enthusiastically.

"What are the odds," I snapped sourly. Edward chuckled. "And what do you do?" I asked him.

"Edward doesn't work," Kate said, laughing easily. "He is a stay at home...uncle for our niece, Lucy."

"That's nice," Riley mumbled through a full mouth. Edward sighed and turned to me.

"I own a real estate company." My mind suddenly clicked into place. Riley spit food from his mouth in surprise.

"Masen Estates? Like, you're the Masen?" Edward nodded simply. My eyes went wide. I was impressed.

"He's showing off," Kate added lazily. "His granddad left the company to him. He worked for a few years, but now he just sits and makes money." Edward rolled his eyes.

"I work long hours at odd times. My six year degree didn't hurt matters," Edward retorted.

"Neither did being a Masen," Kate snapped. She turned to me. "He's the youngest and richest real estate company owner in the south." I could easily sense the venom in her voice, but Edward laughed it off as he leaned back in his chair.

"It's exhausting just hearing about it," he boasted. Kate rolled her eyes and turned to Riley. I tuned them out as soon as I heard the word, "law." If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Edward and Kate bickered like siblings, always trying to outdo the other in anything they could.

I tried focusing on my food. I ate half of the plate, but now that I wasn't busy listening to conversations, all I noticed was how close Edward was sitting next to me. His body heat was like a furness. I jumped in my seat when I felt his beautiful fingers on my bare knee cap. I quickly sneaked a glance at his face. He looked to me and winked, forcing me to look away quickly as my cheeks ignited on fire.

My eyes grew heavy and my breathing became harsh as his delicate fingers traced up my leg.

"Well, what do you think, Bella?" Riley asked annoyed.

"Hmm? About?"

"Have you listened to anything we've been talking about?"

"Where do we go from here?" Edward said, quickly filling me in.

I shrugged. "Where does everyone want it to go?" No one spoke.

Edward snorted. "Look, if we can't be honest with each other, we might as well part ways now."

"I agree with Edward," Riley said. "I'll go first." My husband cleared his throat. "My wife and I did this in hopes to save our failing marriage," he began. I sunk low in my seat with red cheeks. Did the man have to be so truthful? Weren't lawyers generally good liars?

"I truly enjoyed last night," he added.

"Us too," the rest of us blurted in unison.

"So, do we choose different partners now?" Riley asked. Edward cleared his throat.

"From what I've gathered, we can go our separate ways, or begin a four way relationship."

"Four way relationship?" I laughed. Riley and Kate frowned at me. "I'm sorry, but how does that even work?"

"There are rules and boundaries of course, but it's kind of official that we all only see each other," Edward explained.

"I think we should take the week with no contact, and regroup again this weekend," Kate suggested. "That way we can let everything digest, examine where our own marriages stand, and go from there. We all work anyway, so it would be the weekend when we could get together again."

"I agree," I said. I needed time to think, and time away from all three of these people to do it. Riley nodded, followed by Edward.

**-.-**

I stood on the porch watching my lame husband say goodbye to Kate. I could hear him thanking her, and it was repulsing. He didn't have to go into such detail, did he? I shook my head and jumped when I felt a warm hand on my back. Edward smiled. Would I ever get used to his touch?

"Calm down," he soothed. "You can go wherever you want with this, Bella."

I shrugged. "I just wish I knew where that was." Edward's face fell. "Not that I didn't enjoy myself," I gushed. I lowered my voice and leaned in closer to him. "Because I did. Maybe a little too much."

"There can be so much more of that," he whispered darkly, allowing a long finger to trace down my back. I shivered slightly.

"I have to go to Atlanta this week for meetings, so my mother will be bringing Lucy to her lessons. Is that alright?" My heart sank to the ground. I wouldn't see him until we all met up again. I wanted to speak with him alone about so many things, but maybe this way was for the best. I was stronger when I was away from him. I nodded.

"I wish I didn't have to," he breathed. "I just want to have you one more time to last me the week." My knees began to shake, and all I could do was hum my agreement. "I'll be remembering your taste, and hoping that you choose to let me fuck you again, Mrs. Summers." My eyes shot open wide and my breathing was ragged. Before I could even try and respond, he was gone.

* * *

**I just felt like posting again. It has been a very LONG week for me, so here's to a relaxing weekend!**

**Enjoy Father's Day!**

**What are your thoughts on how things are progressing for these four?! ;)**

**Thank you Roniangel85! My speedy beta!**

**And to Beffers87 for her beautiful manips!**


	5. Chapter 5: The Phone Call

**Chapter 5:  
The Phone Call**

I hated Mondays as much as the next person, but this week, I welcomed it with open arms. I had a full schedule of lessons this week to keep my mind occupied on something other than sex. Thanks to Edward and his magical ways, I now knew what I had been missing for the past eleven years that I had been sexually active.

It was quite depressing when I thought about it, so I tried no to. Although, It was much harder than I anticipated because it wasn't my mind that needed the controlling; it was my body. My limbs were physically sore from our weekend escapades and I had always thought that was a joke women shared in jest, meaning they had just been thoroughly fucked. The joke was on me.

Riley seemed different, too. He touched me more, and even initiated sex last night after things had calmed down, but I ended up passing out by nine o'clock. He left for work with a chipper smile, and a hot kiss to my mouth. It amazed me what getting off could do for a man's attitude.

I made my way into the barn feeling like a new women. Alice was feeding Chester who had been very kindly dropped off by Renee at dawn this morning.

"Morning, Ali!" I announced.

"Morning, Bella," she mumbled. I frowned and walked over to her. "I didn't sleep much last night," she explained.

"Studying too hard?" I teased.

She scoffed. "If only."

"What's that mean?" Suddenly, my small bodied prodigy fell to floor in sobs. I kneeled down, worried and confused.

"What is it, Alice? I was only kidding-"

"I have been deflowered," she choked. I flinched.

"Deflowered...?" I had no idea that people still said that in the twenty-first century.

"Yes!" She wailed. "By the hottest guy in the biggest fraternity." I rubbed her back and let a few more sobs pass before speaking again.

"And...that's bad?" I hedged carefully. Alice shrugged her shoulders.

"Yes. I mean, no and yes?" She offered weakly.

I chuckled softly and pulled her from the floor. We stumbled to a nearby hay bale and sat down. Alice rubbed her face in her shirt and took a deep breath.

"I allowed my slutty roommate, Tanya, to drag me to a graduation party," she began, speaking as quickly as she could. "And Jasper Whitlock was there."

"Oh," I replied softly. Alice spoke of Jasper often. She pined for him, but I had no idea he was the popular guy at school. "But you like him, Alice...so what's the-"

"Problem?" She interrupted. I nodded. "I was drunk! He was drunk. It was awful and awkward and I did it all wrong." I had to suppress my outburst of laughter. She really was my mini-me. People like us worried about the smallest of things, and made those small things into gigantic things.

"First of all, you can't do it wrong," I assured.

"Oh, yeah?" She retorted. "Well, I wouldn't call offering the back door before...the other hole," she broke off to cringe. "The right way just because the guy is an 'ass man,'" she cried. I frowned.

"Oh, Ali," I said. "Poor naive, Alice."

"Hey!" She whined. "How was I supposed to know? He looked at me like I was crazy."

"He refused the butt?" I asked in astonishment.

"No," she whimpered. I couldn't suppress my giggle.

"Don't laugh!" She yelled. "It hurt!" I was rolling with laughter now.

"I'm sorry," I stuttered. "It's just...so different hearing this sort of thing from you." Her small shoulders dropped. "It's going to be alright, Ali. How was it after?"

"I woke up and left," she admitted quietly. "But I heard that he really likes me. That's probably why I got drunk because I knew I wasn't strong enough to approach him when sober."

"You just left the poor guy?"

"I left a note!" She defended. I smiled softly.

"That said what?"

"To call me if I hadn't made an ass out of myself. No pun intended." We both laughed.

"He'll call," I assured. Alice smiled then frowned and looked back to her folded hands.

"It's just that...I didn't picture my first time being so..."

"Messy and backwards?" She nodded. "It's messy no matter when, where, drunk or sober, I assure you."

"Was your first time?"

My mind suddenly swiveled back in time making me slightly dizzy. I hadn't thought about those memories in so long.

"Was it with Riley?"

I nodded. "We did it our junior year in high school," I said quietly. I stared off into space, watching the memory unfold before me.

"He had this old, red Chevy. We were parked beneath the bridge at Douglas Lake and...it just sort of happened. It was messy and awkward in a single cab," I finished with a smile.

My smile faded when I remembered how that had been the most exotic place we were to ever have sex. I stood up abruptly and shook my head.

"You're going to be fine, Ali," I assured again. "He'll call." And I knew he would. Alice was too good of a person to pass up.

**...**

When noon had come and gone, I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of Lucy and Edward's mother. Would she be nice? Would she be able to see on my face the wrong things I had done with her son? I shivered nervously on my hay bale outside the barn and puffed on my thin cigar.

Then, a small, silver Lexus pulled up my drive slowly. I stubbed my cigar out and stood up straight, flattening out my dirty work shirt hastily. Lucy leapt from the front seat and ran over to me.

"Hi, Bella!"

"Hey, Lucy," I replied smiling. "Ready to ride?"

"Very ready," she said with a nod. "I even wore my new boots!" She looked to her feet proudly.

"Wow," I exclaimed. "Those are great! I have a pair just like them." She rubbed some dirt off the toe of her new black riding boot and smiled. I looked up to see a beautiful woman with auburn hair stepping out of the driver's side door.

I knew immediately where Edward got his good looks from. Mrs. Masen was well dressed in white capri's and a pink blouse. She approached me with a warm smile.

"Mrs. Summers?" She addressed. I extended a hand to her, which she took.

"Bella, please, Mrs. Masen." Her handshake was quick, but firm.

"I'm Esme. It's so nice to meet you. Lucy has talked non-stop about you." She smoothed her granddaughter's hair out. I smile and looked down to Lucy who blushed.

"She's a wonderful student," I said.

"And Uncle Edward likes her, too, Nana!" Lucy said. "He said she's a horse whisperer." My cheeks went crimson just at the sound of his name. "Bella, can you teach me to whisper with the horses?"

I laughed. "You already can," I assured. Lucy did a quick fist pump and followed me to O'Ryan's stall.

**...**

Esme didn't speak much, but she smiled at me often. I took that as a good sign. I still felt like I was wearing a big "A" on my forehead that screamed infidelity with her son, so I tried to avoid too much eye contact. Esme was at the car as Lucy helped me unsaddle O'Ryan.

"So, do you miss your uncle?" I asked.

"Very much. I hate when he leaves." Lucy's voice was sad. It tugged at my heart.

"I bet. But I'm sure it's nice to be with your grandma, huh?"

"Yeah, until I go home at night," she whispered quietly. I frowned.

"Kate must be a lot of fun, though," I said hopeful.

"Loads," Lucy replied through thick sarcasm. My smile faded.

"Ready to go?" Esme asked from the breezeway.

"Coming, Nana!" Lucy called. "Thanks for today, Bella. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll be here," I assured. Lucy smiled, hugged my waist, and left me with dark thoughts and new questions.

**...**

"Honey, I'm home!" Riley called through laughter. I heard the screen door slam, and I jumped. Years of living here, and he couldn't not slam that screen door.

"In the kitchen," I replied.

"Something smells delicious," he boasted.

"Garlic chicken, green beans, and cornbread." Riley made smacking noises with his mouth as he grabbed a cold beer. "How was work?"

"Long," he droned. "New case about the landfill and how they're dumping nasty shit into the rivers again."

"I wish they would stop that," I snapped angrily. "They have no care in the world for this community. What's next, loggers in the National Forest?"

"I know, Bella. But that's why they pay me the big bucks; to stop it from happening. It won't be easy, though."

"Oh?"

"The company claims to have signed documents giving the "OK" to do so from the mayor."

I sighed. "I knew I hated that guy. See why I don't vote?"

"You should've voted for the other guy."

"As if he was any better. I'm sorry, but I don't think this city needs any more damn tourist attractions," I fumed. Riley raised his hands in defense. He knew not to get me started on the politics of our environment without getting an earful.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"It's fine. In fact, it's kind of a turn on."

"Um, okay, loser," I joked. I turned around to open the oven just to hide my frown.

**...**

We ate dinner quickly, both starving. It was nice to have conversation moving along so nicely with Riley. I couldn't remember the last time that happened. It made me remember the fun we used to have with each other. He was my friend long before becoming my boyfriend anyway, and I missed that the most.

When it came down to it, though, I wanted sex, but not with Riley. We had sex anyway. It was the same as it had always been: missionary position and two minutes long. Riley rolled over, satisfied, and fell asleep leaving me to my sexual frustrations. I felt like a slut. Not two days had passed since sleeping with another man. Now I had two men, and I didn't want either of them for the reasons that I should.

My body screamed for Edward. It was painful, but something I worried about, too. It wasn't ever going to be filled by him because he wasn't mine. I could have my good friend back in Riley, but my sexual satisfaction would cease in its pathetic existence. Sure, I cared about being friends with Edward, too, but I could live without that aspect easily. His sex on the other hand, had me wet just thinking about it.

I got out of bed and quietly went into the living room. I grabbed my iPhone from the coffee table and opened a new text message. I had Edward's cell number. It would be easy to call and have him satisfy my needs over the phone, but I could also just do it myself like I had always done, picturing Hugh Jackman on top of me.

What if Edward didn't want to hear from me? My mind remembered the velvet sound of his voice and the last thing he said to me yesterday. My body ached, telling me to go for it. My thumbs quickly began typing.

_Edward, its Bella. - B_

I hit send and smacked my forehead. I should have at least said "hello," or "how are you?" I waited and waited, leaning back onto the couch in my big t-shirt and nothing else. My phone vibrated. I read his text three times before replying, my smile hurting my face.

_Well, aren't you up late? -E_

_I can't sleep -B_

_Neither can I. Did you like my mother? -E_

_She is very beautiful. And kind. Lucy did great today. -B_

_Good. I miss her so much. -E_

My heart warmed. He was everything a woman wanted in a nice and neat package.

_She misses you. How's Atlanta? -B_

_Hot. -E_

I laughed, and decided that if I truly wanted what I wanted, then I needed to make it known. My fingers trembled over the keys.

_So am I -B_

_Lukewarm showers always help me. Turn the AC up? -E_

I laughed out loud, then covered my mouth, not wanting to wake Riley.

_I didn't mean it that way... -B_

His realization was known when he suddenly called me. I was surprised, and waited a few rings before answering.

"Hello?"

"Are you still hot?" He asked. I sunk into the couch, relishing in the sound of his voice.

"Yes," I breathed.

"I'm guessing our swapping hasn't helped your marriage yet," he stated, rather than asked.

"Not sexually, no," I admitted sadly.

"And you're calling me to take care of it for you?" I didn't recognize his tone. Was he teasing, genuinely asking, or angry? I sat upright.

"I'm so sorry," I blurted. "We had sex, but it was the same as always, meaning I was left completely unsatisfied, and then I remembered what you said to me yesterday and-"

"Bella, calm down," he said laughing. "I'm glad you got a hold of me for the reason you did."

My chest eased. "Oh," I sighed.

"I was trying to be assertive," he explained. My eyebrows raised in interest.

"Oh? So, you like having control," I accused lightly.

"Maybe a little," he admitted sheepishly. "But I like when the table is turned, too."

"As in, the woman being assertive?"

"Yes."

"I don't think I can do that."

"I think you can," he argued. "What are you wearing?" I looked down to my old shirt and sighed. I could lie and say lingerie, but that wouldn't be me.

"Um, a big t-shirt."

"Panties?"

My breathing hitched. "No," I choked, my mouth suddenly dry.

"Good. Touch yourself." I frowned slightly and looked around the room. There was a lone candle burning on the mantle, but the room was dark otherwise, and I was alone. I sat back into the couch and slowly lifted my shirt. I gasped when I felt myself.

"You're wet," he informed, hearing my sudden change in breathing.

"Yes."

"I can almost taste it," he breathed. My eyes closed wistfully. I tried to imagine Edward in a large, plush hotel room, alone, naked, and sprawled out on a king size bed. The only light the room had was from the city of Atlanta below him. The glimmering buildings illuminated his room to a dark golden glow, matching his eyes.

"Stroke yourself," I begged in a whisper.

"Ladies first," he insisted. I smiled and obeyed. Recently familiar pleasure shot through my veins once again. I could hear his breathing speed up to match my own. It wasn't going to take me long when my hand sped up.

"I want you to make yourself come for me, Bella," he said darkly. I moaned.

"You come," I replied forcefully. Edward growled, spurring me on into my release.

"I'm going to," I croaked.

"Not yet!" He nearly seethed. I slowed my hand. My body was dangling off the edge, waiting to be told when to fall. I rubbed in slow circles.

"Now," Edward breathed. Without warning, my body obeyed him. I came harder than I ever had before by my own hand. My moans weren't able to be suppressed as I said his name over and over in a harsh whisper. Edward's breath was heavy and quick. I pictured him coming into his hand. I smiled and laid my head back in complete contentment.

"Wow," I whispered. "That was fast."

"Doesn't take much," he said with a chuckle.

"I think we broke a few rules," I teased back.

"No, we can't break any that haven't been made...yet." We laughed together.

"We should still keep this between us."

"Agreed. It's more fun anyway."

"And safe!" I added with a smile. I heard him sigh lightly.

"I miss you," he whispered. I clutched my covered heart and melted.

"I miss you, too. Same time tomorrow?" I asked hopeful.

"You have my number, baby."

* * *

**Happy Sunday update!**

**Steamy phone sex, silly Alice, and sweet Lucy. I've even added this to the summary, but YES, this story WILL have an E/B HEA. I know some of you are still weary of the whole "swingers" thing, but fear not, and read on!**

**I hope you enjoyed it. Be sure to check out Stories by Greye Granger on Facebook for pic teases, banners, and more!**

**Awesome thanks to my beta, Roni!**

**See you soon ;)**

**xx**

**Greye**


	6. Chapter 6: Encounters

**Chapter 6:  
Encounters**

The week flew by, leaving me in a frenzy. I had been kept busy by numerous things, but the end of Friday was closing in on me, and it was suffocating.

Riley had been chipper, kind, and conversational all week. We started walking the property at twilight like we had done for years before. We spoke about everything and nothing. Of course, I left out my phone calls to Edward each night this week. I felt guilty, but I didn't have to when I blamed Riley for suggesting such things into our marriage in the first place.

I never knew how gratifying phone sex could be. It wasn't the real thing, but it was the next best thing in my opinion. Edward ordered me to do things to myself that I had never dreamed of, but the reward was exquisite.

I had begun to feel like a slave to my own body, needing to get off as often as I could. It was embarrassing, and Edward was the only one who could satisfy me. I was anxious to see him, but not looking forward to the discussion we were all supposed to have tonight.

"Bella! Look!" My head snapped back up from the ground where I had been staring to see Lucy trotting around the corral on O'Ryan with a proud smile on her face. She marched the large horse around the circle, and turned at the last minute to jump one of the obstacle fences. She did it perfectly. I began clapping with Esme who stood behind me.

"Excellent!" I cheered. "Again, but canter," I directed. Lucy nodded enthusiastically and turned the horse. We watched as she ran as one with the animal and jumped the fence again, landing smoothly.

"Was it good?" She called out, hopeful. Esme and I laughed.

"Very!" I replied. "Go as many times as you want until you feel most comfortable," I suggested. Lucy nodded and went back to controlling my horse.

"She loves this," Esme gushed. I turned to see her bright smile as she watched her granddaughter.

"I've never seen such a natural," I replied.

"Her mother," Esme replied fondly.

"Rosalie?" I asked. Esme nodded.

"She won a few competitions on English saddle when she was a teenager."

"Where did she compete?" I asked.

"Locally, before making it big in Kentucky when she was in her early twenties."

"I've been to Kentucky for competition, too. It's very prestigious."

"She won gold and then silver before..." Esme cut off.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I stepped closer to the broken woman and put a hand in her shoulder. Esme smiled and shook her sadness away. She reached into her purse on the ground and pulled out a shiny, namebrand billfold. She handed it to me, and I took it carefully.

"She's stunning," I blurted, looking to the picture. A gorgeous woman with strawberry blonde hair pulled back into a high ponytail, stood next to a large Appaloosa with a trophy in her right hand. I studied the picture more closely.

"She looks familiar," I admitted quietly.

"Everyone knew Rosalie," Esme said. "Maybe the two of you competed together all those years ago." My mind was fuzzy trying to remember where I had seen the girl before, but I couldn't place it.

"Yeah," I replied distantly. "Maybe." I returned the billfold and Esme replaced it securely in her purse. We looked back to Lucy and smiled.

"I always worry about her riding," Esme admitted quietly.

"I know. But if she's taught properly to be around the animals, and she seems to be very knowledgeable and careful, then she'll be okay," I assured softly.

"Have you ever had an accident?"

I chuckled. "When I was twenty, I fell off my stallion. I suffered from amnesia for a few months, but there was no permanent damage. It was my own fault for riding the disobedient horse in the first place. I thought he was ready to be ridden. Another horse spooked him, bucked me, and took off. My dad carried me to the ambulance, and that's all I remember." I looked down to my riding crop and smiled fondly, remembering my father. "I was stupid," I added.

"I'm glad you were okay," she said kindly. I nodded. "Maybe you can talk to Lucy about always being safe around them. She listens to you." I smiled widely, and nodded to her.

Suddenly, Lucy trotted over to us and I helped her dismount O'Ryan. We had been working on jumps since Tuesday and the girl had it down perfectly.

"Nana, did you see, too?"

"You were astounding," Esme assured happily.

"I've never been more proud of a student," I said. Lucy blushed and took hold of the reins. I followed her into the barn.

**...**

I had spent a ridiculous amount of time getting ready after work. I showered, shaved, blow dryed my hair, and was now fighting with myself over how to style it. I gave up and decided to let it be as is: long and slightly wavy.

I stood at my closet frustrated and indecisive as I tried on shirt after shirt. We were meeting Edward and Kate at a fancy restaurant in town, and I didn't exactly have any fancy clothes. I sighed and sat down on the edge of my bed defeated. I heard Riley coming down the hall.

"Ready to go?" He asked. I looked up at him and sighed. His smiled faded when he stepped into the room. He wore a nice suit and was clean shaven.

"I have nothing to wear," I admitted sadly.

"Good," he said. I frowned.

"Why is that good?" I snapped. He chuckled and left the room quickly, returning with a long white box. I stood up.

"What's this?" I asked in surprise.

"Our anniversary was on Wednesday, but we both forgot," he began quietly. I covered my mouth in shock. "Ten years, Bella!"

"Wow. I'm sorry," I gushed.

"Don't be. You remembered all the others when I didn't." I snorted. He had a point. I made sure to dress as sexy as possible, and cook him a nice meal each year, but he had forgotten every time and did nothing for me in return. I stopped caring after the first six or seven years.

"I thought I'd make up for lost times," he joked. I laughed and took the box, setting it down on the bed and opening it. I gasped, and reached in to grab soft, sapphire fabric.

"It's beautiful," I whispered, gawking at the dress. It was a low v-neck in the front and back, and would sit just above my knees. I turned to my husband and smiled.

"You have shoes?" He asked hopeful. I nodded enthusiastically.

"Black heels." I stepped closer to him and took a deep breath. The air between us had changed over the past week into something familiar, yet unknown, so it was almost awkward. I kissed his mouth softly, and stepped away. Riley smiled, clearly pleased with himself, and left the room.

I was a taken aback by his gift and I was still trying to understand how sleeping with another woman was bringing him closer to me. When I met Edward, I stopped wishing for my marriage to return to a sexual happy place, but maybe it was an inevitable thing. I shook my head, and got dressed.

**...**

We arrived a few minutes late to the restaurant, and were informed by the hostess that our party was already seated. We followed a tall black women to our table, and the closer I got to Edward, the more dry my mouth and throat became. When I saw copper hair, I wanted to turn and run. Instead, I latched onto Riley's arm for support. Edward stood from the table when we approached.

He wore a white button up that wasn't buttoned all the way to the top, and dark dress pants. He looked tired, but happy to see us. His smile was infectious, and I suddenly went crimson remembering our phone calls in explicit detail. My knees shook slightly.

"Bella, you look so hot," Kate gushed. I looked to Edward's wife, taking in her long blonde hair, black dress, and perfect teeth. I smiled when I saw Edward's cheeks turn pink at her statement.

"Thank you," I replied. "So do you."

"Yeah," Riley agreed. His eyes were big as he took her in. Kate smiled, and patted the seat next to her. Edward pulled out the chair next to him. I nodded and sat down, with Kate across from me, and Riley next to her.

"I love that dress," Kate said.

"It was a gift from Riley," I replied. She turned to my husband.

"Great choice," she complimented. Riley smiled proudly. I avoided Edward's eyes like the plague, even though I could physically feel every time he looked over at me.

**...**

After a lot of meaningless small talk, we ate and drank nice wine. I was glad to see that I wasn't the only nervous one at the table. We were all a bit awkward with each other, and it worried me as the night dragged on. What if Kate and Edward decided not to see us? If Kate didn't like Riley, it would ruin things for me and Edward.

"So," Riley said, hoping to engage conversation. We all smiled and looked around at one another shyly.

"Yeah," I added lamely.

"Did you two talk about...it? Uh, us?" Kate asked. Riley and I nodded.

"We did, too," she added. With one more look to Edward, who nodded back at her, she smiled. "We want you guys," she said quietly. The invisible chokehold that had been torturing me all week, left my neck immediately. I smiled widely and looked over to Edward. He winked at me, and I nearly gasped when I felt his hand take hold of mine beneath the table. I squeezed it tightly.

"Now rules," Riley began. I suddenly felt exposed talking about such things in a public place. I looked around the restaurant and saw that every table was in use.

"Oh, my God," Riley blurted. I looked over to see his eyes bugging out of his head and his mouth wide open in horror. I followed his gaze to see Mr. and Mrs. Summers walking over to our table. I turned back around quickly, and released Edward's hand.

"My in-laws!" I hissed. Before I could tell them what lie we should all go with, Judith and Tony were at our table with bright smiles.

"Mom! Dad!" Riley said, standing and leaning in to hug them.

"It is so good to see you and Bella out," Judith said. I smiled and suppressed an eye roll as I stood up, and walked over to kiss her cheek. I loved Judith, but she sometimes said things that weren't necessary, and could be taken the wrong way. I learned that the hard way over the years.

"How's work?" Tony asked. Riley began telling him of his recent case, and I told Judith about my mother's horse falling ill with a broken ankle. After a moment, Judith looked to me expectantly.

"And who are your friends, dear?" Riley laughed nervously and motioned towards the Masens who still sat quietly at the table.

"Ma, Dad, this is Edward Masen and his wife, Kate," Riley announced happily. "Work friends."

"Oh, you work at my son's firm?" Tony asked. I groaned inwardly.

"I'm in law at a firm downtown," Kate informed, kindly shaking their hands. "And my husband is in real estate."

"You mean-" Judith began.

"Yes," I interrupted. "He's that Edward Masen." The Summers smiled in unison.

"I know a lot of people who have bought from your company, and have heard nothing but wonderful things," Tony said, shaking Edward's hand. "But don't let these kids buy any more land," he teased. "They have plenty."

"Oh, dad," Riley said, waving it off. I blushed, embarrassed for some unknown reason. I noticed Edward and Kate's frown.

"Well, we'll let you be," Judith said. "It was great running into you." I kissed her cheek again and hugged Tony before sitting back down. Just as they began walking away, Judith turned back to us.

"Oh, and happy ten year anniversary!" She told us. I nodded and bowed my head in embarrassment. When they were gone, I sighed deeply.

"Wow, ten years?" Kate asked.

"Ten years," Riley confirmed. "You know, maybe we should finish our earlier discussion somewhere more private."

"Yes!" The rest of us agreed together.

"What about our house this time?" Edward suggested.

"Fine by us," I said, with Riley nodding.

We all split the dinner bill, and got up to leave. Edward placed a hand on the small of my back. I looked up to his golden eyes and saw something dark smoldering behind the them. I recognized it immediately as desire, and my body began its slow take over of my mind.

* * *

**WOO, awkward much? Ready for some sexy time in the next chapter? Oh, yes!**

**I want to rec a new author, JRFaab who has just posted her first twilight ff called, Swan Lakes Ranch. Give her a read! She'll be updating every Friday! www . fanfiction s/9435590/1/**

**I plan on posting a fic for fun, that won't be Beta'd and I'll be updating that more frequently. Keep an eye out! I will post it soon ;)**

**More soon!**

**xox **


	7. Chapter 7: Rules

**CHAPTER WARNING: I wanted to alert readers that there will be a little femmeslash in this chapter. It doesn't get very far, and the paragraphs are easily skipped. This is the only chapter in the story that will have such things. Read on :)**

* * *

**Chapter 7:  
Rules**

I was surprised to find out how close Edward and Kate lived to my house. If we took back roads, they were only ten minutes away. I liked knowing that Edward was close by. Riley and I drove in silence for most of the way, both thinking about what was to come next tonight.

I knew what I wanted, but there were three other people who may want this relationship to be different. I was still afraid of it all, just because we had entered into unfamiliar territory where anything could happen.

"Is there anything specifically that you do, or don't want from all this?" I asked quietly.

"Not really. I'm game for whatever," he replied. I wasn't surprised by his answer. "You?"

"I don't know," I said with a shrug.

"I just want it to be fun, with no drama or serious attachments."

Unfortunately for me, it was too late for that. I did feel an attachment to Edward, even if it was strictly sexual. I wanted to get to know him, too, but I knew that I shouldn't. If I fell for him entirely, I would be in trouble because three people would end up hurt. I closed my eyes and tried to envision a future without Riley. I frowned when I couldn't. All I could see was the four of us.

**...**

"Wow, this is nice," Riley said as we came up to Edward's front door. It was all glass except for the wooden frame that attached it to the house.

"Thanks. We like it," Kate replied. We stepped into the foyer and removed our shoes, placing them on a mat next to some others.

The house was grand, and clean with everything in its place. I suddenly felt like a slob in comparison. I expected their house to be more comfortable than formal. After all, the did have Lucy living here, too. Although, you wouldn't know it by the looks of the house.

"Kate keeps a neat house," Edward whispered into my ear. He stood behind me closely. I felt embarrassed for staring at their home with a frown on my face.

"It's beautiful," I said truthfully. Too beautiful. Edward's right hand grazed my ass as he nudged me forward and into a massive living room. There was a stone fireplace on the far wall, and the entire room was glass like the front door. I idly wondered if all of the walls of the house were, too. We could see out into the night as clearly as if we were truly outside. Kate dimmed the lights and took a seat next to me with a wine bottle in hand. Riley and Edward sat across from us on a white couch that matched ours.

"Wine?" Kate asked. Everyone nodded enthusiastically. She poured four large glasses. Riley raised his glass.

"To the start of something new and exciting," he toasted.

"And exotic!" Kate added with a wide smile. We clinked glasses and took large gulps. I knew that if I drank enough, I would be more courageous, so I finished my entire glass, and ignored the surprised stare from Riley.

"So, we're all here for the same reason," I began. Everyone looked to me questionably. "Sex," I explained flatly. I poured more wine into my glass and drank it down.

"Hear, hear," Kate concurred. Riley and Edward laughed. "Now for some rules."

"I think everything should be done together. If we separate, that's too much like an affair to me," Riley said.

"Although, isn't that what swingers do?" Edward countered. "Swap spouses?"

"I guess. But it doesn't mean that we have to," Riley replied. My mind was beginning to spin from the quick alcohol intake. I knew that Edward wanted to be alone with me as much as I did him, and that's what he was fighting for.

"I like that," Kate said. "Besides, it's much hotter when we're all together." I sighed lightly, but finally nodded.

"Agreed," I said.

"Agreed," Edward added smugly. He watched me carefully. I looked away from him in order to gain back my wits.

"I think we can have sex with our spouses, too," Kate said. "But I doubt that'll happen." We all laughed nervously. "I mean, we get enough of that during the week." I suddenly wondered how much sex she was getting from Edward and cringed inwardly at the mental image.

"And uh, no guy on guy," Riley said. "Sorry, man." Edward snorted and raised his palms.

"Agreed," he replied strongly. I looked to Kate expectantly. She was smiling seductively at me. My eyes widened and I looked over to Edward and Riley who both stared at me the same way.

I swallowed hard. "Um, I guess-"

"I'm down if you're down," Kate said, interrupting me from my stutter. Riley was nodding enthusiastically, and Edward appeared indifferent.

"Agreed," I mumbled.

"Bad ass!" Riley boomed. I drank more.

"What if someone wants to stop all this?" I asked curiously.

"If one does, we all do," Riley said. "We should all be honest."

"Agreed," Edward said.

"We're all clean and on some form of birth control, so no issues there," Kate said. "I'm fine with our rules."

"Me too," Edward said. Riley and I nodded in agreement. A deep part of me felt like I was signing my life away, so I drank even more. We all grew quiet, thinking of where to go next.

"So, anything goes besides guy touching? Sexually I mean," said Riley.

"Yep," Kate replied smiling.

"Well, I don't know about you," Riley said, looking at Edward. "But I'd like to see some girl on girl!" Edward rolled his eyes, then looked to me carefully again. I shrugged, feeling empowered by the wine. Edward's gaze darkened. I turned to Kate, and leaned in. I kissed her mouth lightly, and pulled away.

"Whoa," Riley breathed, leaning in closer. I had never seen him more enticed over something other than sports. Kate laughed lightly and took my hands in her face, surprising me. She leaned in and kissed me. It was a soft and slow kiss before she began to devour my mouth. I followed along, not wanting to embarrass myself.

I had never kissed a woman before, and maybe it was the alcohol speaking for me, but I wasn't complaining about anything as I kissed her back. Her mouth and face were soft, her tongue tasted like sweet wine, and her hands began exploring my back. I could hear ragged breathing across from us, and that spurred me on.

Kate's hands began gripping my breasts as our kissing became more intense. With as hot and needy as I had been lately, it was easy to lose myself in her, simply because I wanted the release so badly. I squeezed my legs together tightly and clawed at her back. She leaned forward, pushing me backwards until my shoulders hit the arm of the couch. She acted as wild as I felt, and allowed a hand to slowly travel down my body.

Any fear I had before now was gone. I was so lost in the moment, and fired up by alcohol that I had forgotten about my husband and other lover sitting across from us watching. Confusion seeped into me the closer Kate got to my groin. What happens when she got there? I hadn't ever really thought about how women pleased one another. Everything suddenly felt upside down and my head was spinning. I didn't stop kissing her, and her hand didn't stop moving down until someone stopped us.

"Okay," Edward snapped.

"Our turn," Riley added breathlessly.

Kate slowed our kiss until my mouth was free. It ached from so much use. I sat up dizzily and looked to Riley who was practically fucking Kate with his eyes. Edward appeared to be completely unmoved by what his wife and I had just done. His face was expressionless, and it confused me.

"Where to?" Kate said, standing up and fixing her dress. "Since we all should be together."

"I couldn't care less," Riley said, sauntering over and taking her hand.

"Right here is fine," Edward suggested annoyed.

"Dibs on the couch!" Kate cooed, plopping back down beside me. I stood up to make room for Riley. I watched as he took no time in hovering over Kate. She giggled and began messing with his pants. I wiped my mouth and grabbed my wine glass.

"That's enough," Edward said, taking the glass from my hand. I frowned. "I want you sober," he explained.

"Oh," I squeaked. Edward took me by the arm and pulled me away from the two couches. We walked across the room to a plush chair where he spun me around to sit. He stood in front of me, and looked back to our spouses. I peered around him to see Riley going down on Kate. I huffed. Edward's head snapped back to me.

"What?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Nothing. How do you want me?" I asked playfully. Edward quickly undid the button on his pants, and freed his erection. It was beautiful, and my mouth suddenly wasn't so sore anymore. I carefully leaned forward and took him in my mouth. Edward gasped in surprise, and then moaned as I sucked him. I was sad when he stopped me. He waited a minute to catch his breath, then leaned down and pushed my dress up. I sat back into the chair and watched him. Loud moaning from Kate began to echo throughout the house. Edward's face still hadn't lost that annoyed look.

"What's wrong?" I whispered.

"I didn't like that," he snapped.

"What?"

"Her touching you."

"Oh." I suddenly felt ashamed for upsetting him. His dark eyes shot up to mine.

"I should punish you, but you didn't know not to." My eyes went wide, and fear struck me. He noticed my expression and began to laugh. He winked at me. My chest eased.

"A punishment of severe fucking," he said.

"I can handle that," I replied shakily. On his knees before me, Edward smirked and leaned down, putting his mouth to the center of my panties.

"I bet you can," he breathed, hot breath coming over my already burning center. He kissed it, then used his hand to slide my underwear to the side. He shoved his dick into me so fast that I didn't know what was happening at first until I moaned when he filled me.

He pounded into me hard and fast, holding nothing back. We both were looking down, watching as he slid in and out of me. I had never felt so erotic in my life watching someone fuck me. Edward grunted as he reached down and grabbed some of my wavy hair. My legs were spread, and I was in an awkward position on the chair, unable to move. I wanted to move.

"I'm close," he said through gritted teeth. Thank God. The pounding was beginning to give me a headache, and I needed my release. I didn't like coming without him. I nodded quickly to him. Edward smiled, and slammed into me. My orgasm overruled me completely. I called out his name and my body went limp with my mind completely thoughtless.

**...**

I could hear someone whispering my name and I wished they would stop. My head was thumping, and I wasn't sure if I was strong enough to open my eyes, let alone tell the person to stop. It continued, followed by a light shake to my shoulders. I groaned and rolled over. Someone hushed me.

"Come on, get up," the voice whispered. As soon as I heard the voice, I knew it was Edward, so my eye lids shot open to see golden eyes staring down at me. "Come with me," he said. I blinked a few times and slowly sat up, my entire body aching.

"What time is it?" I asked groggily.

"Just after 7," he whispered.

That meant I had slept maybe three hours at the most. I didn't want to move, but Edward's plea was hard to ignore. He ran to a white dresser and pulled out an extra pair of boxers and a grey t-shirt, bringing them to me. I smiled warmly and put them on. I heard Riley and Kate breathing behind me, still fast asleep.

Edward too my hand, and we tiptoed from the master suite upstairs and made our way into the kitchen where fresh coffee overwhelmed my senses.

I lazily took a seat on a barstool and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Visions of the previous night started to flood my mind slowly. I could remember drinking more, and having a lot more sex, but I wasn't sure who each time was spent with. I suddenly began to pray that all of them were spent with Edward.

"Do you remember last night?" I asked curiously. His back was turned to me as he poured hot coffee into a couple of mugs, but I could hear him chuckle.

"Yes."

Damn.

"You weren't drunk?" I asked hopeful. I knew that I was, and that Kate and Riley were, too. He turned around, smiled, and shook his head.

"Cream?" He asked. I nodded. He spun back around and poured vanilla bean creamer into both mugs.

"Why not?" I asked, going back to my previous question.

Edward walked around the bar and took a seat next to me. I lunged for the offered coffee mug and took a large sip, ignoring the burn.

"Thanks," I whispered happily. I felt better already. "So, why not?"

"I don't get drunk," he explained simply.

"Oh. But you drink?"

"Occasionally." I stowed that small bit of information away until I was more coherent to think about the why's. I looked around the clean kitchen, and then back into the living room. Moving hurt no matter which way I did. I drank more coffee and ran a hand through my tangled hair. I frowned.

"Why does my hair smell like chlorine?" I asked bewildered.

"The pool," he said chuckling.

"You have a pool?" I asked in surprise. Although, with everything else about this place, how could there not be a pool? Edward nodded. I closed my eyes, bowed my head onto the counter and groaned.

"What's wrong?" He asked worriedly.

"I can hardly remember anything," I whined.

"Do you want me to fill you in?"

My head snapped up. I winced in pain from the sudden movement. "Please."

"Basically, I fucked you every way imaginable." I gasped at his audacity, causing me to choke on my hot coffee. Edward waited patiently as I composed myself, handing me a napkin. I wiped my chin and took a deep, steadying breath.

"Oh?" I squeaked. Edward smiled darkly. "Um, are you the only one?"

He cocked his head to the side. "Only one?"

"That...fucked me," I whispered. His smiled widened.

"Yes." A breath of relief whooshed through me.

"Good," I blurted. Edward frowned, then smiled again.

"Good?"

"I don't want to be gang banged," I teased. He laughed loudly. "It's not funny!" I argued. "I feel like I've become some horny sorority girl on the weekends."

"Horny sorority girl?"

I shrugged. "I can't think of what else to compare it to. I've never partied. I've never even had drunken sex."

"Until now," he said with a smirk. I smacked his arm playfully and winced.

"Did I hurt you last night?" He asked.

"Yes!" I teased. His face fell. "It's a good kind of hurt," I assured.

"Oh, good. Because we still have today and tomorrow." My eyes widened. More sex? I wasn't sure I could handle anymore without my limbs beginning to break off.

"Uh, do you think I could have the day?" I asked quietly. "To regenerate, you know?" Edward laughed and took my hand.

"Of course. I got you up early so that we could spend some time together."

"I'm glad you did," I replied smiling. "I'm up early anyway on normal days. I have to feed the horses-" I cut off in horror, leaping from my seat. "Can I use your phone?" I asked frantically. Edward nodded and pointed to the wall by the refrigerator. I ran to the receiver and dialed Alice's number.

"Alice?"

"Bella? Where are you?" She asked worriedly. My shoulders eased.

"I'm...with Riley. We took a mini vacation. I'm so sorry I didn't call."

"That's okay," she assured. "The horses are fed and happy."

"Thank you so much," I gushed.

"You'll be back Monday?"

"Yes," I replied quickly. "Monday."

We got off the phone and all worry had vanished within me.

"Everything all right?" Edward asked, sipping his coffee.

"Yes. Thank God for Alice," I replied with a smile. I hung the phone up, and noticed a picture on the fridge. I leaned in closer to see Edward, Kate, and Lucy at some sort of school function. Lucy held a blue ribbon in her hand. Edward noticed my staring.

"Lucy won first place in the science fair," he told me proudly. I smiled. They all looked so lovely in the picture. A perfect family. My heart sank a little. What would Lucy and Esme think of me if they knew where I was right now, what I was wearing, and what I had done? I forced those thoughts away.

"You look happy," I noted quietly. Edward didn't reply, instead staring at the photo from where he sat with an expressionless face. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, so I went and sat back down next to him.

"Your mother is great," I said.

"She's very kind," he agreed. The air between us was awkward, and I wasn't sure why. He was a hard man to read in every way imaginable. I slouched over the counter and swirled the hot liquid in my mug.

"I don't think we should get to know each other," Edward said sadly. I flinched in surprise, and looked over to him. I wanted to protest, but why, and for what? I got angry instead because it was easy.

I snorted. "Edward, you kind of already know a lot about me," I argued, waving a hand between us. His cheeks flushed and he looked down to his coffee.

"Sex is sex," he replied dryly. I frowned.

"Yeah," I spat angrily. "It is." I moved to stand up, but he stopped me. I understood his reasoning, but I never expected him to be so cold.

"Don't," he begged. "Don't be mad. I'm only saying this because-"

"I don't need an explanation, Edward. You're not my husband," I snapped, pulling my arm away from him.

"I know that," he whispered. "But I already feel possessive of you and it's only been a week."

My heart softened and I sat back down. His fears were no different from my own. I didn't want to loose him anymore than he did me. I tried to think of a way around the rules, or a way out of this entirely, but there was no way. It was all or nothing, and if I wanted it all, I had to be fearless.

I took his hand and brought it to my chest.

"I don't want to hurt Riley or Kate," I began slowly. "But I don't care about myself. I can take the heartache that will inevitably come to me for doing this, but it will have been worth it."

Edward's honey colored eyes bored into mine carrying something unfamiliar. It wasn't lust or desire, it was something more meaningful.

"Agreed," he said chuckling. "It will be more than worth it. Even if it is just a flicker of time in our lives, I will have had you."

He leaned in and kissed me softly. In his kitchen just after dawn, in his underwear drinking coffee, we created our own rules. I knew that rules were set only to be broken, and that I would someday pay for this affair, but I didn't care.

* * *

**Well?! Any thoughts on their rules?**

**Happy Weekend! Keep an eye out for my new story (: **


	8. Chapter 8: Benefit

_Chapter 8:  
Benefit_

Over the next couple weeks, the four of us had become very comfortable with each other. It was unpredictable most times, what we did, and where we did it, but we saw each other every weekend and I still held my week night phone calls with Edward.

We tried as hard as we could to not tell each other too much about our separate lives, but it was difficult. The more I learned about him, the harder I fell and I was happy falling.

I had never seen my husband so happy before either. He was kind to me, and we laughed more than we had in years. I felt like we were teenagers again who were getting a fresh start. A do over even. Unfortunately, the closer we became as friends, the less and less sexually attractive I found him.

I also felt like I had started living two lives. With each man, I was a different person. I was happier with Edward sexually, but Riley knew me inside and out. It was hard to keep such a dark secret from him, and I felt ashamed, but I was right when saying that it would be worth the heartache. There was something special about Edward, and I only hoped he continued to feel the same way towards me.

We were writing a tragic love story. Aren't they remembered far longer than a happy one? Love is pain. It's something that comes with love no matter how hard you to try to avoid it. I wanted to experience it all, so anything it brought to me, I would be grateful for, because I never knew love like this. With Riley, I married a close friend. He was someone I trusted and felt comfortable around. I did love him, but we lacked passion, and now that I had found that in Edward, I wasn't sure if I could give it up.

I was addicted to Edward Masen. He had an allure about him that I couldn't ignore. I wasn't sure how Kate, or any other women he passed by were able to keep their hands off of him. We found any opportunity we could to be alone, most nights staying up later than our spouses and sneaking to another room.

It was when we were alone that I experienced the most pleasure. It was wrong to be in secret, but it was also a turn on. I didn't feel awkward expressing such pleasure when I wasn't right next to two other people. Everything was great, and I wanted it to stay this way forever.

_**...**_

Riley and I had a town benefit to attend on Friday, so we didn't get to have our usual Friday night with our lovers. When we arrived, my eyes instantly began searching for Edward. My mother insisted that we invite our new friends, so I didn't really have a choice. Especially when Judith suggested the same thing. Riley walked under the large tent at the park without a care in the world. Both our families had money, and they weren't afraid to make that known.

The benefit was for the new library in town, and the guests in attendance were all wealthy and eager to give donations. I had to talk Kate into coming. She apparently wasn't a fan of such public events, but I assured her it would be fun. There was always a live band and good food, plus she would get to buy a new dress.

I was the only one of us four that was nervous. What if someone noticed how we acted towards one another? I begged Riley to keep his hands off of Kate until we left. If one person noticed something different about us, the whole town would know about it by morning. I took a deep breath and hoped for the best.

"Bella!" My mother called. I searched the crowd and found her by the bar. It was her favorite place to be since my father passed away. "Darling, there you are. You're late," she said as I came to stand next to her.

"Sorry. You know how parking is," I replied with a shrug.

"Fix your dress," she mumbled. I frowned and looked down. "It's on backwards," she explained.

I sighed. "No, mom. It isn't." Renee eyed the low cut dress suspiciously. It wasn't like I had anything to show in front anyway. I patted the the white dress softly. I love how it hugged my my body so tightly.

"Are your friends coming?"

"Yes," I snapped. "You've asked that a dozen times this week." Renee chuckled and leaned in closer to me.

"I know, honey, but he's wealthy! This library needs all the money it can get if it's going to be built by Christmas." I rolled my eyes and took a flute of champagne.

"There they are," Renee cooed, looking beyond me. I turned to see the Masens entering the tent, arm in arm. My stomach began to boil. They were the perfect couple. Kate wore a ruby colored floor length dress. It shimmered as she walked and it was backless. Edward was wearing a suit with a bow-tie. I stopped boiling and began to melt at the sight of him. He spotted me quickly and walked over. I swallowed a big gulp of champagne followed by a deep breath.

"Edward," I said shakily. He smiled.

"Mr. Masen, it is so good to have you here," my mother gushed, taking his hand. He smiled politely and nodded.

"It is my pleasure. I'm anxious to have this new library built." Renee laughed and continued to shake his hand. "And it's Edward please."

Renee blushed. "And where is your lovely wife?" Since when did she find Kate lovely? The three of us searched the crowd and found Kate sitting with Riley at a large round table shaking hands with Judith.

"Go introduce yourself..." I offered. "Again, I mean," I finished. Renee laughed lightly and nodded, leaving Edward and I alone at the bar. I quickly turned around and grabbed another champagne flute.

I suddenly felt Edward on my back. "You look beautiful, Bella," he whispered in my ear. I blushed.

"So do you," I whispered back. He chuckled darkly. "Too bad this place is so open," I said jokingly.

"Oh, but it isn't." My eyebrows raised and I turned to face him. Edward nodded off to the right. "I saw a utility shed by the river." He was incredibly tempting with his bow-tie and sexy grin.

I shook my head. "No. We can't!" He leaned in again.

"We can," he whispered. My knees shook. How could we do this? Were we not even strong enough to avoid the need we had for one another in a such public place? I started to burn between my legs as I stared into his golden eyes.

"Food is served in fifteen minutes," I said quickly. Edward's grin turned into a smirk.

"I only need ten." I giggled when he started ushering me through the crowd. I nodded and smiled at the people we passed as if nothing was about to happen between me and my "friend." We saw my family with Kate, laughing and chatting easily just before exiting the tent. The light illuminating outside from the structure was much darker, making it easier for us to go unnoticed.

We stumbled down to a small, red shed that sat on the edge of the Pigeon River. The water roared loudly. Edward giggled the door handle until it opened, and pulled me inside. With the door closed, it was almost pitch dark. The wood of the shed was old and warped, allowing some light from the night inside. Edward's eyes glistened as he stared down at me. I backed up against a wall and threw my arms over his shoulders bringing his face to mine in a passionate kiss.

I would forever wonder how doing something so wrong could be so hot. Would we still have this intense passion if we didn't have to sneak around? If he belonged to me, would I still want him? I forced all deep thoughts out of my head and began to unbuckle his belt.

Edward broke our kiss. "Do you want to lay down?" He asked.

I snorted. "On tools and an old wood floor? No, against the wall," I urged, pulling him back to me. Edward growled and picked my legs up off the ground, wrapping them around his torso. I finished with his belt and pants, and guided his erection towards me. He managed to move my underwear to the side, and entered me forcefully. I moaned and threw my head back onto the wall loudly.

We laughed quietly before continuing our movement. I held him as close to me as physically possible as he moved inside me. It felt good to be one with him again. My legs tightened around his waist and I nibbled at his neck. Our breathing was ragged and I knew that I was close. Whenever I heard how much he was enjoying me, it brought me to the edge.

"Now," I begged. Edward's nails dug into my upper thighs and he growled again. I came, unable to control it any longer. Luckily, Edward came, too. His pace slowed and he buried his head in my neck. We stood frozen in an awkward position trying to catch our breath. He pulled out and lowered my legs. They shook unsteadily for a moment, causing me to laugh.

"I don't know if my body will ever get used to this," I said.

"Neither will mine," Edward replied, stretching his arms out. I fixed my underwear and dress the best I could in the dark, and when Edward's pants were done up, we left the small building quietly. It was a relief to see the benefit going on as normal as it had been when we left. People were talking happily and food was getting ready to be served. Just as we came over the small hill, I gasped in surprise.

"Your mom is here?" I hissed, jolting behind Edward. He chuckled.

"You told me to invite my parents," he reminded. "When I did, they told me they already had plans to attend. My father is the head doctor over the ER." I gasped again. My hands flattened my dress, then my hair, then went back to my dress. Edward turned around and grabbed my wrist.

"You look perfect," he assured. "Come on. They're sitting with us." My eyes were bugging out of my head but I allowed him to guide me back under the tent and across the floor. My chest eased when I saw Lucy running towards me. Her long hair was curled loosely and she wore a silver dress with sequins all over it.

"Bella!" She exclaimed. Her little arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

"Hi, kiddo," I cooed, hugging her back. Edward smiled at us.

"I didn't know you would be here," Lucy said happily.

"And I didn't know you would be either!"

Lucy smiled. "Grandma got me this dress. What do you think uncle Edward?"

Edward knelt down beside her. "You look stunning," he said. Lucy blushed and hugged his neck. "Did you see aunt Kate?"

Lucy's smile faded. "Not yet."

"Over here, Luce!" Kate called. She stood at our table waving a hand over. Just then, the announcer took his place on stage with a microphone, telling everyone to be seated for dinner.

I took my place by Riley and Lucy sat next to me, with Edward beside her. Our parents introduced themselves and took their seats as well. I prayed that this wouldn't be awkward, but I had a sour feeling in my stomach. Mr. Masen was almost more beautiful than Esme, and it was extremely intimidating to be sitting across from him and his wife. Esme smiled warmly at me, though.

Dinner was served before us, a four course meal of expensive seafood. Poor Lucy hated all of it, but at least she tried each plate. My mother asked the head chef for something more common, and the kind man delivered Lucy with some Macaroni and Cheese, and tater-tots.

Renee payed close attention to Lucy and her family. I noticed Judith and Tony doing the same thing. I wasn't sure why, because the Masens were kind, and open to conversation. They were much more down to earth than even I expected. It was enlightening to see Edward interact with his parents. Kate stayed quiet for most of the night, but I noticed a few heated glances shot towards Riley.

My husband was thoroughly engaged in conversation with Tony and Mr. Masen, who insisted on being called Carlisle. They spoke of politics, and law. Apparently Carlisle was in school to be a lawyer before switching to medicine. He felt that he would help more people by becoming a doctor.

"And what about you, Bella?" Carlisle said. I snapped back to reality and lowered my champagne flute. I raised my eyebrows. "You've been teaching Lucy to ride so well. And Esme told me that you've competed before?"

All eyes were trained to me. My cheeks were on fire and I swallowed hard.

"Yes sir," I replied. "I dabbled a bit in competition." Riley and Renee scoffed.

"She's being modest, Carlisle," Renee assured, patting the man's arm.

"Bella has won gold in many styles and obstacles of riding. She was given an honorary degree from the university in Equis Care. Some even call her a horse whisperer," Riley boasted proudly. I blushed deeper, and looked down. I could feel Edward's eyes on me, and it made me more nervous for some reason.

"Impressive," Carlisle said happily. The man who had the same eyes as his son, nodded to me with a raised glass of champagne. He had blonde hair, and age lines adored his pretty face. It only made him more attractive. "I can't imagine a better teacher for my granddaughter."

"Thank you, Carlisle," I said.

"I'm going to be just like her!" Lucy said. My heart warmed and I tapped her small nose with my index finger.

"You'll be better," I whispered.

**_..._**

The benefit had taken off into auction with every piece they offered being sold quickly. I even raised my paddle to purchase a Thomas Kinkade painting. The Masens and Summers were both the big buyers of the night, though. Edward purchased, and fought hard for a piece of land on top of Bluff Mountain. Judith finally won an ancient tea set, and Carlisle and Esme got a handmade bench.

I spent the remainder of my time joking and playing around with Edward and Lucy. The rest of our families talked, danced, and drank more champagne. I was in the middle of playing Hot Hands with Lucy at the table. I thought I would need to go easy on her, but she was quick, and winning. The tops of my hands were red and stinging.

"Now," Edward whispered behind her. Lucy acted as soon as he spoke, slapping my hands.

"Cheaters!" I cried playfully.

"Okay, accuser," Edward teased. "Let me have a go." He winked slyly at me, and only I caught it, knowing that the small gesture meant more than he let on. Lucy nodded enthusiastically and switched chairs with her uncle. I took a deep breath, and slowly placed my hands, palms down, over top of Edward's. We were almost touching, but we never had to be in order for me to feel the heat that his body projected onto mine.

I didn't look at our hands, instead studying his eyes. They flickered, and I made my move, pulling my hands back before he could slap them.

"Ha!" I said.

"Okay, okay," he said smiling. "Don't get a big head about it. My turn." I swallowed hard and watched his hands hover over mine. His fingers were long, and delicately beautiful. Aside from his eyes, they were my favorite thing. He stared into my brown eyes for a long time as I contemplated my move.

"Your eyes give you away, Masen," I chided. Edward smirked, but didn't reply. I chose to cheat in my own way, so I winked at him and raised one eyebrow seductively. His eyes flickered, and again, I made my move. I slapped his hands.

"Bella wins!" Lucy declared happily. I smiled.

"This time," Edward said teasingly.

Just then, Carlisle approached Lucy and held out a hand to her.

"Care to dance, granddaughter?" He asked her kindly. Lucy blushed and looked to Edward and me.

"Go on, goose," Edward said. "I've taught you well." Lucy and Carlisle laughed and left the table for the dance floor. I watched as they began to twirl around while smiling widely.

"Well?"

My eyes snapped back to Edward and his offered hand. I smiled again, and took his invitation, placing my hand in his. As we left the table, I caught my mother's green eyes looking at me. She sat next to Judith and Esme. She had a strange expression on her face as she watched me being pulled behind Edward. It made my stomach feel sour again, but I ignored it, and began dancing with Edward.

The song changed from something upbeat to something slower. I smiled, recognizing one of my favorite songs. I danced along with Edward slowly.

_It's been a mystery and still they try to see  
Why somethin' good can hurt so bad  
Caught on a one-way street, the taste of bittersweet  
Love will survive somehow, some way_

They lyrics seemed to suit my life in its current situation. I couldn't say how exactly, but it did the more I listened. It was as if I was hearing the song for the first time.

_So many stormy nights, so many wrongs or rights  
Neither could change their headstrong ways  
And in a lover's rage, they tore another page  
The fightin' is worth the love they save..._

Edward's check pressed against mine softly. We moved as one like we had in another way so many other times. This time however, was different because he could easily be ripped away. I frowned when he pulled back, interrupting me from my thoughts. I saw Riley smiling, and offering his hand. I forced a smile back to him. Edward nodded politely and stepped back, leaving me cold and alone.

I danced with Riley in a different way. We had danced many times in our life together, but none had felt this sad and empty before.

_Only so many tears you can cry  
'Til the heartache is over  
And now you can say your love  
Will never die_

_One love feeds the fire  
One heart burns desire  
I wonder, who's cryin' now  
Two hearts born to run  
Who'll be the lonely one  
I wonder, who's cryin' now_

And I began to wonder who would really be crying when all of this was over. My heart ached for Riley as a familiar realization swept through me. I had been ignoring it, but that only made it angrier. It wanted to be confronted, but I was too afraid and weak. As the song ended, so did my realization as I pushed it further and further away from me.

"We need to talk," Riley whispered. He didn't pull away, instead still holding me close to his face. A new song began to play. People moved around us in a quick tempo.

"Okay, but after the weekend. Did you talk to Kate?" I asked. I felt Riley shake his head.

"Her and Edward want us to go camping with them!" I whispered excitedly. Riley pulled back. I saw his blue eyes a shade darker than they usually were.

"Camping? I don't know. I have court Monday."

"Oh, come on," I encouraged playfully. "It'll be one night. We'll be home Sunday with plenty of time to rest up for the week."

Riley hesitated, then finally shrugged. "Okay," he agreed smiling. My eyes brightened and I kissed his cheek swiftly.

"I'll go tell Kate!"

I spun around, leaving Riley and walking back towards our table. I saw Kate and Lucy on the edge of the tent and my stomach dropped slightly. Lucy was looking down at the ground, and Kate appeared to be angry. Before I could confront them, Renee stepped in my line of sight. She spoke to me, but I wasn't listening. I stared at Kate, confused.

"Bella, Marie!" Renee snapped. My eyes finally went to hers. "Did you hear anything I said?"

"Huh?" I shook my head. "No, sorry, mom."

Renee sighed. "We need to talk!" She hissed. I patted her shoulder and began pushing past her.

"Sunday!" I said, calling back to her. I slowed my stride just before reaching Kate.

"I don't have anything!" She hissed down to Lucy. "And your grandma sure as hell won't either."

"Hey, guys," I said cheerfully. Kate's head snapped up to me. Her eyes burned darkly, but began to lighten in my presence. I looked down to Lucy who stood awkwardly, and still stared at the ground. I touched her back.

"What's up, Luce?" I asked.

Kate huffed. "Period. You got a tampon, Bella?"

"I do."

"Thank God," Kate snapped. Her snide expression disappeared completely when Riley approached us.

"Camping anyone?" Riley said happily.

"Ah, please!" Kate replied, exasperated.

"Camping? Can I come?" Lucy asked, still not looking to any of us.

"No," Kate snarled. Anger began to bubble inside me. I patted Lucy's back and started to steer her away from Kate and Riley.

We maneuvered through the crowd, and I slyly grabbed my small purse from our table. We made it to the bathroom, and I stopped just outside the door.

"Here," I said softly. Lucy stared at the tampon in my hand with large eyes. She made no move to take it. I frowned, then sighed softly. I leaned down to her.

"Is this your first time?" I asked. Lucy nodded slowly. My heart ached for her. I hugged her small shoulders. "It's going to be fine," I assured her. "I was about your age when I started, too. You're twelve, right?"

"I'll be thirteen soon," she whispered.

"Sounds about right," I replied, smiling softly. I began telling her to use a tampon, and that if she needed anything else, then to knock on the door and let me in. She seemed to feel much better once things were more explained. She went into the bathroom, and I smiled, feeling proud of myself and of her. I leaned against the bathroom wall and looked to the night sky. I heard someone call my name. I looked to see Edward jogging up frantically.

"Lucy," he said. I nodded and pushed him back a ways, not wanting Lucy to hear him.

"She's fine," I soothed. "She's in the stall handling it all now."

Edward sighed. "Thank you," he whispered. "Of all the times to start something like that," he said, ripping at his hair. I laughed and nodded. He seemed more nervous about it than Lucy did.

"So, camping," I said, changing the topic. Edward smiled.

"I can't wait. It's about an hour drive from here in the mountains. There's a stream for swimming, we can pitch tents, and cook BBQ."

"It sounds perfect," I agreed excitedly. Suddenly, Esme was jogging over to us as well. I took a step back to put some space between me and her son.

"What happened?" She asked worriedly. Edward mumbled something incoherent, so I stepped forward.

"Lucy started her period," I said lightly. Esme's face took on a realizing expression.

"Sweet girl," she whispered. She walked past us and to the bathroom door, knocking softly.

"Lucy, it's Grandma," she cooed. After a second, the door opened swiftly and Esme disappeared behind it. Edward took my hand.

"Thank you. Really," he said again. I smiled and squeezed his hand.

"Man, you owe me big," I boasted. "First I beat you in Hot Hands, and now I'm dealing with family issues?" I teased, shoving him. Edward gripped my wrist to pull me closer.

"I'll pay you back this weekend," he assured. His voice had grown dark, heating me internally.

"I'll count on it," I replied giggling.

* * *

**SONG: Who's Crying Now? By Journey (epic song. Epic band.)**

**Woo, a camping trip is in store for y'all next! When do you think that, "shit will hit the fan?"**

**Haha and how was that sneaky shed love? ;) I think people are beginning to catch on...**

**Check out my other new story, Untouchable, if you're up for some mystery and a sexy FBIward. I update it daily.**

**xxo**


	9. Camping

_Chapter 9:  
Camping_

I couldn't remember a time when leaving my hometown had felt so good and refreshing. We were almost an hour outside of the city limits, and I was finally riding with Edward. We had swapped cars at the last gas station per my request. Kate had asked first, though. She rode with Riley behind me and Edward in his SUV.

This weekend could hold a lot of wonderful memories. We would be camping next to the river, and that was what I was most excited about. I loved to swim and rarely ever got to as I got older.

Everything with the horses was taken care of, and I had begun to pay Alice more for helping me out. She seemed a little suspicious about my being gone on the weekends, but never asked about it. It felt like people had really begun to suspect something strange going on between the four of us. I didn't think about any of that now as I turned to Edward. I had so many questions bubbling within me that I just couldn't not ask anymore.

"How old are you?" I asked. Edward laughed and leaned back in his seat. One arm held the steering wheel, and the other rested on the center console. He was a Godly sight. Looking at him used to hurt my eyes, but it had dimmed the more time I spent with him. That didn't mean that I had ever forgotten his beauty, though.

"I'm thirty." I giggled. "What," he scoffed playfully. "Too old?"

I shook my head vehemently. "Oh, no. Definitely not." He chuckled. "And I'm twenty-seven," I said sheepishly.

"You don't look it," he said. I raised an eyebrow. "More like twenty-three."

"Ha! Are you kidding me?" I snorted. It brought me back to a previous thought of how I had reminded myself of a college student in the past month. "Is that why you like me?" I said teasing. "Cause I look so young?" I ran a hand down my face.

Edward laughed harder. "No, I like you because you're you."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

Edward shifted in his seat. "Just that everything you are is great."

"Um, thanks?" I replied with raised eyebrows.

He chuckled. "I mean, you're smart, ambitious, funny, kind, goofy, beautiful, and sexy."

My heart warmed. "Really?" I squeaked. "I'm all of those things?" Edward nodded. I wanted to throw myself across the console and hug him, but I refrained. "Thanks," I whispered instead.

I reached into my bag on the floor that sat between my feet and pulled out a small cigar.

"Do you mind?" I asked, holding the cigar up in question.

"You smoke?" Edward asked in shock.

"It's a flavored cigar, Edward," I replied smiling. "I don't inhale, but I love the green apple taste. My dad used to smoke them," I added quietly.

He rolled down my window for me. "Only if you share," he said smirking over at me. I giggled and lit the end, thankful that he didn't ask about my dad. The taste whooshed through my mouth, and I passed it over to the driver.

"I love Lucy," I said, suddenly changing topics.

"She loves you."

"You think?" I asked hopeful. Edward nodded enthusiastically and passed the Black and Mild back.

"She just adores you. And Esme." I almost said Kate, too, but I would be lying. I wanted to ask about her and Lucy's relationship, but I was too afraid.

"She's had a tough life, but it's gotten better."

I nodded slowly. "How did-" I cut off and shoved the cigar in my mouth to stop me.

"What?" He furthered.

"Nothing," I assured, waving a hand through the air.

"Tell me," he encouraged.

I swallowed hard. "How did her parents die?" I waited for Edward to get upset, but it never came. He sat next to me expressionless. I wondered how he could do that so well, to suddenly appear so completely without emotion.

"Rosie was kicked in the head by a horse during a competition," he said quietly. I smoked more frequently as I listened.

"It wasn't even her horse, but some douche bag's who had no business bringing such an untamed animal to such a big event, let alone an enclosed space. She was up to ride next, but got disqualified for the injury. They couldn't risk the insurance on her." He sighed lightly before continuing. "We thought she was okay, but a couple days passed and she began complaining about a headache. She had internal bleeding of the brain, and the doctors couldn't stop it."

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I whispered. I took his hand and squeezed it. Edward blinked a few times and looked over to me.

"Emmett committed suicide a week later."

"Oh, God," I choked. Tears were rolling over my hot cheeks.

"He didn't know how to live without Rosalie. They'd met in grade school, and were always together."

"But Lucy," I weeped. Edward squeezed my hand.

"Some people just can't live without the person they love, regardless of who is still alive and counting on them." I watched him shake his shoulders, as if he was shaking himself from the conversation. His facial expressions returned.

"Lucy has us," he said smiling. I swiped my face and passed him the cigar. "Full custody belongs to me and Kate, but she stays with my parents, too. They're helpful in ways that me and Kate aren't. She's a tough kid, and she's determined to ride."

"She's got a lot of talent," I said. "And a big heart. I bet she loves Kate, too. I mean, she was Rosalie's best friend, so I'm sure she's full of great memories."

"Yeah," Edward replied dryly. My stomach twisted. I knew something deeper was going on, but I chose not to press him any further right now. Instead, I turned on the radio and flipped through stations.

I knew that we were getting close to our destination, and I wanted to lighten the mood. I rolled down my window as far as it would go as an old eighties song flooded through the speakers. I began to sing in a terrible nasally voice.

_Look at the way  
We gotta hide what we're doin'  
'cause what would they say  
If they ever knew  
And so we're_

_Running just as fast as we can  
Holdin' on to one another's hand  
Tryin' to get away into the night  
And then you put your arms around me  
And we tumble to the ground  
And then you say_

_I think we're alone now  
There doesn't seem to be anyone around  
I think we're alone now  
The beating of our hearts is the only sound_

Edward was laughing hysterically as I danced as much as I could in my seat. He snapped his fingers and started to head bang. I had almost forgotten where we were, and who we were. In this moment, we didn't have jobs, spouses, or bills to pay. It was just the two of us, and we had no cares in the world but making each other smile.

My sides began to ache with laughter as I watched him dance with me, but part of me knew that the ache was also there as a reminder: we weren't alone. Our spouses drove right behind us, our bills would need paying, and we would return to work on Monday. I started to head bang with Edward, my hair whipping me in the face from the wind. We chose to relish in the simplest of moments, because who knew if we would ever get one together again.

**_..._**

"This place is amazing," Riley cooed. He stood on the bank of the river after we set up tents and unloaded the vehicles.

"It is," I agreed. I walked up next to him and stared at the moving water.

"Let's swim!" Kate said. I shivered lightly.

"I bet it's cold," I replied. "Regardless of this relenting summer heat!" I heard Kate laugh from behind me.

Suddenly, Riley shed his shirt and shoes, and jumped off the bank, making a loud splash. I laughed at him, and felt Kate dash beside me and into the river with him. I was shocked to see her naked. I looked around our camp and saw that we were in a secluded spot, but I still didn't feel brave enough to skinny dip.

Riley and Kate splashed around the river playfully. Before I could turn around to go change into my swimsuit, I felt Edward's long fingers on me. He grasped my arms.

"Edward! No-"

He pushed me into the river. I sunk to the bottom and pushed off with my feet. When I reached the surface, I coughed and pushed my hair out of my face.

"You ass!" I cried. Edward laughed from the bank in his swim trunks, then jumped in beside me. I swam away and splashed his face when he surfaced.

"Bella, over here!" Kate called. "There's a warm spot in the shallow water." I smiled widely and swam over to her. I found a smooth rock and sat down, most of my body still submerged in the water, but it was warmer.

I glanced down the river and saw a few kids with their parents playing and splashing around. The large birch trees created a nice barrier between our camp and theirs, but we had a clear view down stream. I looked back to Kate who was blushing and lowering her entire body into the water to cover her nakedness.

"I love it here," I sighed happily. "Are there any hiking trails?"

"Loads," Edward replied smiling.

"You two have fun with that," Kate droned, rolling her eyes.

"Who's ready for burgers?" Riley asked from the bank. I didn't notice that he had gotten out of the river and was dressed already. He held a bag of charcoal in his hand.

"Here, here," Edward said.

"Edward!" Kate hissed. "I need a towel."

Edward laughed and got out to get a towel. He then swam back over to her holding the towel above his head, and opened it up, creating a wall of secrecy from the fellow swimmers down river. Kate stood up carefully and threw herself into Edward's arms. She kissed him, and it made my stomach boil. I was in trouble.

**_..._**

"Dinner was excellent," Kate gushed in a thick southern accent. I nodded and continued to chew my last bite of cheeseburger.

"We men cook good," Riley joked.

Night had fallen, leaving most of our camp in the dark except for the scattered lanterns hitched in trees around us. The frogs and crickets began their nightly song just after sunset, and though it had always annoyed Riley, I was happy to not hear him complain about it tonight.

I was comfortable in shorts and a tank top thanks to the summer heat that never went below seventy degrees. My stomach was full from wine coolers and food, but my hunger for Edward was as strong as ever. He was constantly watching me in a subtle way. I noticed of course, and I wished that I didn't, because it made me so uneasy.

I suddenly understood what people meant when they spoke of "eye fucking." Edward literally made me hot just by looking my way, and he watched me like he was going to have his way at any second. I was getting better at hiding my hunger for him, but sometimes I slipped and caught myself ignoring Riley to stare at Edward.

"I'm ready for a good pounding," Kate gushed, placing her paper plate in the nearby trash. I choked on my drink, surprised by her brash statement, but didn't disagree with her. She disappeared into her tent and emerged with a small boom box.

"Music?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Can't hurt the mood," she replied with wiggling eyebrows.

I didn't protest, though I kind of wanted to. I liked the natural music that nature provided us with. Kate started walking over to Riley as I stood up from my chair. I threw my plate away and walked to Edward. We began to dance alongside our partners slowly. I let my head fall onto Edward's chest, and my hunger for him was beginning to be fed.

We all danced for a while, and then I felt another hand on me. I groaned internally thinking it was Kate. I didn't feel like making out with her again. My body needed Edward and it needed him now. I raised my head to see Riley, and crossed my eyebrows in confusion.

"I think I would like my wife tonight," Riley said. Edward didn't move, or let go of me. I couldn't help my confused expression when it shifted to surprise. I heard Kate huff.

"Uh, isn't that breaking one of our rules?" She snapped.

Riley shook his head. "It was never a rule," he replied, putting emphasis on the last word. His eyes met Edward's intense stare and didn't back down. Edward's hand tightened around my back.

Kate sighed. "Okay, fine. Come on, Edward," she cooed. She placed a hand on her husband's shoulder, and Edward broke his eye contact with Riley. He released me, and it was painful.

Over time, I had grown to feel like double sided tape. I had Riley on one side, and Edward on the other. When Kate and Riley peeled me apart from Edward, it hurt a lot more than I imagined, leaving one side of me burning and lonely. My eyes locked onto Edward's, and my heart lurched seeing his sad expression as we were being ripped apart.

Riley took my hand and led me into our tent.

**_..._**

I awoke early the next morning, my heart in pain and my body too hot for my sleeping bag. I shoved it off me and onto my husband. He stirred, but didn't wake. I looked above me, and through the mesh top of our tent, I could see that it was barely dawn outside. I rolled onto my side, naked. It was fitting to me now. I was stripped of my feelings, leaving no one but myself, and I had to face her eventually.

I shouldn't of had sex with Riley. I shook my head, and snorted at myself. I shouldn't of had sex with Edward. That's what made me a slut. I was too afraid to deny my husband. I didn't want to hurt him. It was fine if I hurt, because it was of my own making. What we shared last night was no different than any other time over the years, but he seemed to enjoy it again. I went back to faking it. We were stagnant, and there was no fixing us.

Suddenly, I heard a branch snap just outside my tent. I jolted upright in surprise, and listened more intently.

"Bella," Edward called. His voice was barely a whisper, and I had never smiled so big. I threw on my shorts and big t-shirt, and exited my tent silently. Edward stood down by the river with his arms crossed. I quietly walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He didn't turn to face me immediately, but I felt him ease into my touch.

I didn't know what to say, or if there was anything to say at all. Our words couldn't fix anything. Suddenly, he spun around and took my hand, his eyes hot with need. They said everything I needed them to, so I followed behind him as he led us into the trees. There was a trail behind our camp and after a few minutes of walking, we stopped.

Edward looked right and then left, choosing to go left. We stepped off the trail and through some brush before emerging onto a large patch of soft dirt. He peeled his shirt off, and laid it on the ground. I quickly undid my shorts and slid them down.

We were well protected by the surrounding trees, and there was no sound but the river. Edward took me in his arms and lowered us to the ground. Time had sped up to an immense pace, and I didn't fight it. I brought his mouth to mine, and devoured it. Light stubble had accumulated overnight on his face, tickling mine as I kissed him.

I opened my legs to him, too eager to take things slow. He messed with his shorts for a second, and then shoved into me. It felt more glorious than any other time before now. I clawed at his bare back, trying to bring him closer to me. I wanted us to fuse together as one, so that we could never be ripped apart again. My eyes began to burn, and I realized that unwanted tears had formed. Our ragged breathing was nearly as loud as the river now.

"I can't lose you," he growled, gripping my thighs. Tears spilled over my cheeks like a leaking faucet. Each pound of his hips to mine brought me closer to my release, and I feared that I would surely explode this time, once and for all. I swallowed hard, and through my tears, I chose to be honest.

"Edward, I love-" I was cut off by a loud gasp.

"What the fuck?"

Edward stopped his lovemaking immediately, and shot off me. My head snapped to the right to see Riley standing in the brush, staring down at us. His eyes were dark from anger. I snatched my shorts up and put them on. I waited for my husband to either begin yelling, or for him to lunge at Edward. Neither came, though. He huffed angrily, and stalked back towards camp.

I threw my head into my hands and sobbed lightly, overwhelmed by every little and big detail in my life. I knew what I had done wrong, and I wouldn't deny it. I was more upset with myself than anyone else. Edward didn't touch me, instead starting to walk through the brush and back to the trail. I swiped my face, and followed behind him.

* * *

**And they've been had!**

**If you get a moment, please go vote for Untouchable at www . tehlemonadestand . blogspot . com! It's up for fic of the week! So exciting!**

**Song is: I Think We're Alone Now by Tiffany**

**Hope you've enjoyed this bitter sweet chappie!**


	10. Wind

_Chapter 10:_

_Wind_

The trail back to camp seemed longer. Edward walked quickly with me hot on his heels. I was ready to face the wrong things I had done. Mostly, I was just glad to get it all out in the open. I was relieved that Riley found us, and thankful that he did when he did before I could finish my last sentence to Edward.

At camp, Riley was rummaging through our tent hastily, and mumbling underneath his breath. I stood by the campfire in the center of camp, and found that I couldn't speak. Should I start defending myself, or start apologizing? Edward stood by his tent, watching Riley closely. My husband rarely got angry, but when he did, it could be frightening. I never knew what he was going to do next. Of course, I've never seen him this mad at me before. Riley held everything in when it came to anger until he exploded.

He began throwing my things out of our tent.

I sighed. "Riley-"

"Shut up," Riley warned. I flinched.

"You need to calm down," Edward warned. Riley huffed and stepped out of the tent.

"Calm down? You asshole!" Riley cried, his arms flailing around him. "You broke the rules. I didn't do shit, so don't tell me to calm down."

Suddenly, Kate groggily made her way from her tent. She rubbed her eyes and frowned. She wasn't wearing any pants beneath one of Edward's t-shirts. Even now, something like that was able to fill me with jealousy.

"What the fuck are you all yelling about?" She yawned.

Edward and I glanced at each other, then looked away just as quickly.

"Oh, Kate," Riley said. "Good, you're up. These two," he pointed between us, "Cheaters, have been going behind our backs!"

I studied Kate's face, watching her emotions flash through her. She frowned, smirked, then saw how furious Riley was, and became furious too. It confused me. She turned to Edward.

"What?" She scoffed.

"Yeah, I heard Bella leave the tent, so I followed her. I knew something was going on."

"It's true," Edward stated simply. "I've been seeing Bella without you knowing, Kate." My confusion deepened when I couldn't see any remorse on my lovers face. Riley rolled his eyes and came up to me. I could feel his body heat radiating off of him.

"Why, Bella?!" He yelled. "Why did you do this? Was what we arranged not enough?"

I shrugged, and looked to the ground. I didn't know where to begin, and Riley wasn't in the right place to hear me out.

"I can't believe you would do this to me," he spat. "How many others?" I frowned, and looked up.

"Others?" I squeaked.

Riley nodded. I noticed a thin sheen of sweat forming on his forehead. "Yeah, how many other men?"

"None," I blurted immediately. "None!"

He laughed, throwing his head back. "Oh, right. Just Edward, huh?" My fists clenched at my sides. He had no right to call me what he was not so subtly calling me.

Anger finally boiled within me, and I couldn't contain myself. "How dare you! You've been cheating on me for God knows how long."

Riley scoffed. "No, sweetheart," he said sourly. "I haven't. Those nights I'm out late, are me down at the sports bar dreading coming home."

My heart twisted painfully. "None of this would have happened at all had you just gone to counseling again!" I screamed. Riley flinched, but composed himself quickly.

"Oh, it's my fault?" He asked in disbelief, pointing to his chest. I nodded briskly.

"You just had to suggest swingers," I said, my hands in the air. "Who does that, Riley? What husband openly tells his wife that he wants to start fucking other women? This started with you!" I shouted. Riley took a step away from me. "As soon as you opened that door into our marriage, our life," I cried, tears hot on my cheeks, "I gave up."

Riley finally backed down, and let his shoulders drop. "I told you at the benefit that I wanted to talk, but you wouldn't listen."

"Listen to what," I snapped. I folded my arms across my chest.

"I wanted to stop all this," he admitted quietly. "I wanted my wife back."

My heart softened, but not only because of his admission. My marriage was finally becoming honest. I swallowed tears.

"Now that you got to fuck Kate, in more ways than you have ever fucked me, you wanted to call it quits? Just like that, huh? You had enough of someone else, and thought you could just, what, Riley? Get me back as if nothing ever happened?"

Riley raised his head, his eyes lighter, but with anger still behind them. "You betrayed me."

I didn't cower. "I did, just as you did," I replied. My husband shrugged, and walked away. He shoved his belongings into his bag, and slung it over in the dirt as he began breaking down our tent.

"I'm leaving. I'll take the cabin by the lake. You can have the house because of the horses until we..." He cut off, and didn't finish. What did he want to say? Until we worked it out? Until we filed for divorce? Those were the only two options we had left.

"I'm with Riley," Kate snapped. My stomach turned sour when I realized that her and Edward were still here and had heard my argument with Riley.

"Edward, this is the perfect time to tell you," she said. "I'm leaving."

Edward frowned and uncrossed his arms. He appeared angry, but still not ashamed. "Why?"

Kate hesitated before answering. "It just isn't working out," she finally said. "You betrayed me!" I wasn't able to contain my laugh since she stole Riley's line. Kate's blue eyes shot over to me, and I stopped. "You can have the slut," Kate snapped.

My anger began to boil again, and I took a step closer to her, but before I could speak, Riley stepped in between us.

"You can come with me," he said softly. Kate smiled warmly, then went into her tent.

"But Lucy!" Edward yelled, turning to look in the tent. "How could you do this after all I have given you, Kate? After all the shit you do, the shit I put up with for Lucy, you go and do this? Just take off? You have responsibilities!"

"No one said I was leaving Lucy!" Kate fought back.

My heart was heavy with sadness. This was the climax of our tragic love story. I stood alone, between Edward and Riley, watching as Edward fought with and possibly for his wife, and hearing Riley's silent whispers of hatred towards me.

Kate emerged from the tent with her bag and walked over to Riley. I wanted to physically vomit when I saw her place her head on his shoulder. She played the victim well, but I could see through her facade. She took Riley's bag as he held the folded tent, and turned to walk away.

"What about Rosalie?" Edward cried. When I looked over to him, my heart broke. It wouldn't break for me and my marriage, but it could break for Edward.

Kate stopped walking, but didn't turn around. "Rosalie is dead, Edward."

Riley turned and started walking away with Kate right next to him, and they disappeared into the trees.

**_..._**

I was in a dark place for what felt like a lifetime, because everything went into a dense fog. My mind saw my future, only it wasn't bright and happy. I sat alone on a hillside with a horse tethered to a nearby fence. There was a swing attached to a large oak tree that swayed in the wind: back and forth, back and forth. The squeaking sound of the old weathered rope that swayed, began to annoy me. I got up, hoping to stop the swing, but it was too high up. The wind picked up and pushed the swing even higher, and faster. I wasn't able to stop it. I was dizzy from its swaying when I realized that I was sitting on the swing.

I was a swing in my life, swaying to Edward and then to Riley, never stopping at just one of them. Neither of them could catch me to stop me from my swinging. I used to swing towards Riley and then back to no one until Edward came into my life. I realized that he was the tester instead of the hero. Could I withstand his beauty, my sexual desires, and my heart, or would I surrender to them, to him, leaving Riley alone? I swung faster and faster, with no sound but the wind as it was much louder than my fractured rope. It wouldn't hold me forever.

**_.X._**

I woke with a jolt. My eyes adjusted to my surroundings quickly. I rubbed my neck as a shooting pain spread through it from sleeping against a passenger door. I was still riding with Edward in his dark SUV. The day was dark now, too. Rain had come, washing away the dust and pollen that East Tennessee had accumulated.

Edward drove slowly along the narrow road with the radio playing low. I noticed that he had taken one of my cigars and was smoking it.

"Hi," he said when he noticed my stirring.

"Hey," I squeaked. My throat was dry and tears were crusted to my face. I grabbed my Nalgene bottle and took down a big swig of water.

"Hey," I said again, but more clearly.

Edward smiled softly and offered me the burning the cigar. I took it hastily, and smoked it. Thick smoke filled my mouth, and I inhaled it. I lowered my window slightly and released the smoke, watching it shoot out through the window. Rain drops dripped in, splashing onto my hot skin.

"I'm sorry," Edward suddenly said. I frowned, unsure of his meaning.

"You didn't do anything," I countered. He ran a hand through his untamed hair and pulled at the ends.

"Everything is a mess. I'm sorry for that. I don't know what to do about anything."

I smoked more, then passed it back to Edward. I laid my head on the seat and sighed.

"I don't know what to do either," I admitted sheepishly. "Fuck, I don't even know what I want," I said exasperated.

"I do, I'm just not sure how to get it," Edward said quietly. I cocked my head to the side.

"Tell me."

Edward sighed. "I want Lucy, but I'm afraid of Kate putting up a fight for her. I want you, but your heart belongs to someone else, and I don't have one at all."

My face frowned, because he did have a heart. Then, I smiled involuntarily, and that told me a lot about what I wanted. "I want you, Edward," I whispered. "I don't know how or if it will ever happen, but I do want you."

"What about Riley?"

Now I sighed. "I love Riley. He's been with me through a lot, and will always have a piece of me, but it's not what it was supposed to be."

"What do you mean?"

"I had this vision of our life, a vision I had for years and years, but after we got married, the vision changed. We had great years, but over time, it faded into something else. We became two people who loved each other, but who weren't ever meant to be together forever." I shrugged. "Maybe that's how it always was, I just didn't want to see it that way."

"When did you realize all of this?" Edward asked quietly.

"A couple years ago. I didn't know how to accept it, though. Riley still hasn't, and I don't know how to make him see the truth. He'll fight the good fight until there's nothing left. It will break us completely instead of doing the right thing!" I said, not noticing that my voice had raised. I was frustrated now. "He won't end things amicably to where we don't have to be two broken people. We can stay friends who will alway be there for one another, but he's the type of person who wants it all or nothing."

I shook my head, unsure if what I said made any sense at all.

"Well, maybe what made you realize the truth, can help him to also," he suggested.

I swallowed hard and shook my head. If today was the start of speaking nothing but the truth, I wasn't about to stop now.

"You made me realize," I whispered. Edward looked over to me with soft eyes, but raised eyebrows. I knew that I would have to elaborate further.

"I was in a rut before I met you. I'm just swinging on a hill all alone with no one to stop me to save me from my dizziness. In fact, the day before you came to me with Lucy, I had planned to leave Riley. I would just leave, and not give him the chance to fight, because it would be for nothing. We've been through separate counseling and then married counseling, and then no counseling. Nothing worked, because it wasn't supposed to. When I saw you," I broke off to swallow again. Tears threatened me but I suppressed them. "I felt something that I feared for years of never feeling again. I finally wanted something again...and it was you."

Edward sighed heavily. My chest filled with hope. "I thought it was fate that you were at that club. I mean, what were the odds?" He finished, chuckling lightly.

We both fell silent for a couple minutes as we finished smoking. "So, what happens now?" I asked.

"There is a lot to overcome. We take one day at a time," he replied carefully.

"I can handle that," I whispered. I wanted to talk more, but I was tired of speaking at all. I knew we would discuss everything again and again later, but for now, it was nice to be quiet. Edward reached for my hand and squeezed it.

As I had done the day before, I turned the radio up and listened to the song playing. We drove into the city limits of our home as new people. I closed my eyes and saw my swing. It was still swinging, but I couldn't hear it. Maybe the start of stopping me, was Edward ending that annoying sound that pounded into my ears for years. It was trying to tell me something, and I was finally listening.

_We can never go home_

_We no longer have one_

_I'll help you carry the load_

_I'll carry you in my arms_

_Help me to carry the fire_

_We will keep it alight together_

_Help me to carry the fire_

_It will light our way forever_

* * *

**Song-No Sound but the Wind by The Editors (Yes, from the New Moon soundtrack. FLOVE that song!)**

**At least everything is out in the open now, huh? Now time to fix things ;)**

**Y'all hate Riley. That's okay. But, he's actually gonna straighten his ass out soon. And Kate? Well...she just sucks.**


	11. Shambles

_Chapter 11:_

_Shambles _

I rolled onto my side awake, but not wanting to open my eyes. I couldn't remember where I was, or what day it was. Had the camping trip been a dream? I slowly reached my hand out until I felt another body next to me. It was warm, soft, and foreign. My eyes opened to see Edward asleep on his stomach, his head facing me.

I smiled. I was both happy and unhappy about the camping trip being real, and not a dream. Edward stirred lightly, so I retracted my hand and stared at his sleeping face. We were in my bed, in my home on Monday morning. It was still early, I knew that. There wasn't any sun pouring through my window just yet.

My smile fell when my heart began to ache. I felt terrible having Edward here in the bed I shared with Riley, but then I figured that Kate was sleeping next to Riley right now, too. He said he would take our lake cabin, but Kate never told Edward where she would be. Memories of days spent on the lake with Riley began to flood my brain without my permission. I squeezed my eyes closed, forcing them away. When I opened them again, Edward was looking at me.

I flinched in surprise. He smiled and reached over, draping his arm over my side.

"Sleep well?" He asked.

"Yes," I cracked. I swallowed hard. "You?"

"Mmm, very well," he cooed, closing his eyes again. "What day is it?"

"Monday."

Edward's eyes shot open. "Shit!" He hissed. "What time is it?"

"Not even seven," I said. "What's wrong?"

Edward sat up and sighed. "I have a meeting at ten. I thought I was late."

I chuckled. "Nope..." My hand began to trace small patterns on his back. We didn't have sex last night, but I was fine with that. We were both so exhausted mentally, that we just fell asleep holding each other instead.

Edward turned to me with a raised eyebrow. "Meaning we have some time to kill," he said darkly. My eyes widened in delight, and I rolled onto my back. Edward shifted the sheet covering us, and moved to hover over me. I relished in the feeling of his body weight on top of me, and wrapped my arms over his shoulders. He moved in to kiss me, but I turned my head away.

"No," I whined. "Morning breath." I covered my mouth embarrassed. Edward laughed and began kissing my face all over. I giggled and tried to turn away, but he was too strong.

"You're beautiful, Bella," Edward said between kisses.

"Lies!" I teased, struggling beneath him. Finally, my hand went to his ribs to tickle him, but it didn't work.

"Not fair," I cried. Edward laughed victoriously as he continued kissing me. When he slowed, he raised his head to look in my eyes. I stared back, and after a moment, all shyness left me, and I pulled his face down to kiss me.

I ignored our morning breath, but it was easy once I became aroused. We kissed quick and hard with our hands tugging and scratching all over. Edward ripped the sheet out from between us, and nestled in between my legs. He sighed blissfully. I smirked and wiggled my hips against his.

Suddenly, he took hold of my body and flipped us over until I was on top of him. I wasn't shy, so I didn't lunge for the sheet to cover my naked body as he stared at me happily. I positioned myself properly, and sank down, his hard erection pushing inside me. Edward made a small "o" shape with his mouth when I began to move slowly.

I felt powerful being on top, and wanted to do it this way more often. Every move I made was pleasurable to the both of us. Edward gripped my upper thighs tightly and started to help me rock. I moved slowly back and forth, then picked up my pace when moving slow was painfully too slow.

I placed my hands on his chest for support, his hair tickling me. I moaned loudly, feeling high on my own drug that I knew was just Edward.

"Grind me," he said. I smiled and moved my hips against his harder.

I couldn't remember a time being on top during sex with Riley. It was quickly becoming a new favorite as I controlled the movement. My moaning grew more frequent and loud as I neared my orgasm. I gripped Edward's chest tightly.

"Now," I said forcefully. I saw Edward nod between ragged breaths, giving me the go ahead. I smiled, and with a few more grinds, I came around him. I threw my head back in pleasure, crying out Edward's name.

**_..._**

"That was an exceptional morning, Bella," Edward cooed happily. I giggled, embarrassed.

"For me too," I whispered.

We stood on my porch, fresh from showers and with full stomachs from the eggs and bacon I cooked. Edward set his coffee mug down and took me in his arms.

"I don't want to go," he whispered. I breathed in his scent.

"I know, but you have to work, and so do I."

"Sure you you won't play hooky and come with me?" He asked. It was the second time he asked this morning. I laughed and pushed at his chest lightly.

"No, I have clients today, and a lot to catch up on. Lucy comes today, you know," I added quietly.

"I know. I'm going to talk with her tonight."

"You think she'll take it okay?" I asked worriedly. "I mean, how do Kate and Lucy get along?"

"Great. Believe it or not, Kate is the strict one, so they butt heads, but they're great together. I'm not sure how I'll break the news of it all. First I have to find Kate."

"Still no answer?"

He sighed, defeated. "No. I've called and called."

My shoulders fell. "I'm going to wait on Riley. He'll need some time." Edward nodded. "So, I guess I'll see you soon?"

He took me in his arms again. "Very soon. I know this process will be long and painful, but worth it."

"Yes," I agreed. He kissed the top of my head, and left the porch. I couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't asked me about my unfinished sentence in the woods. Part of me was glad, because I wasn't sure how I would answer him now. But he must be curious, right? I shrugged and I watched him drive away with the large part of me that he now possessed, and wondered if I would ever get it back.

**_..._**

"For the third time, no. Today is not a good day, mom," I said angrily. I shuffled my phone from one ear to the next as I grabbed at paperwork on my desk.

"But we need to talk, Bella," Renee replied sternly.

"Soon, okay? I'm buried in work this week."

Renee huffed. "Fine. I'll pick a night and ride over. No buts Isabella," she snapped, and hung up. I looked at my phone in annoyance and tossed it down.

I heard a small knock on my office door. "What?" I yelled. The door opened and Alice peeked her head in slowly.

"O'Ryan is ready to go," she said softly. My face fell and my shoulders eased. I waved a hand in the air and Alice carefully made her way into my office.

I sat down in my chair exasperated. "I'm sorry," I told her. "I don't know why I'm so crabby."

"It's okay," Alice assured. "We all have off days."

I scoffed. She had no idea.

"Who was on the phone? I heard you fighting with someone."

"My mother," I groaned. "She's relentless you know?" I glanced down at my phone and rolled my eyes. Alice chuckled softly.

"Aren't they all?" She countered. I finally let my face smile, and it felt good. "Are you sure you're alright, though?" She furthered.

"Yes. Why?"

Alice shrugged. "You've seemed distracted by something all week. That never happens."

I raised my eyebrows. "I've never been distracted?"

"Not enough to be this frantic. And especially not around the horses."

My heart tightened. "They used to calm me," I whispered sadly. I put my head in my hands and took a deep breath. My mind went straight to Edward. I hadn't seen him since Monday, and it was Thursday. We were both so busy trying to catch up with work, that we rarely even talked on the phone.

Riley still wasn't speaking to me. I understood why, but the stubborn bastard needed to face things sooner or later. I hated being alone in my house, and I hadn't had any sort of sexual release in days. I knew that was the reason for being so tightly bound and frustrated lately.

All of that only angered me further. Sex had become a crutch, something I counted on, and now that I wasn't getting any, I was mean. It was an addiction, and I worried about that being the only thing that tied me to Edward. If it wasn't a sexual fantasy, I rarely thought of him at all. And though my body didn't yearn for Riley in the slightest, the rest of me did. I missed talking to him. My heart hurt as it continued to split in two.

I raised my head to see Alice still in my office. She sat patiently, but watched me carefully.

"Riley and I split up," I finally said. Her face fell and she started to speak. I raised a hand before she could voice her pity. I didn't need any of that. I deserved all I was feeling. "It's okay," I said. "I just wanted you to know. Things may change around here, I'm not sure. We haven't discussed much yet, but I know he'll want the house."

Alice's eyes went wide. "But-"

"The barn. I know," I finished. "But this is his land technically."

"I thought it was a gift," Alice countered.

"From his parents as a wedding gift. The house was built my his grandpa." Alice and I sighed in unison. "I have a few acres at my moms that my dad left to me, and we share the lake house he's staying in now, so I don't know what will happen just yet."

"It's going to work out. I go where you go," Alice replied kindly. I smiled warmly at her.

"Thank you."

Suddenly, we heard a car pull up to the barn. I looked at the clock, and knew that it was Lucy and Esme. I rubbed my face, and stood up.

"On a happier note," Alice piped. "Jasper called..."

My face brightened. "That's great, Ali," I said happily.

"We have dinner tomorrow night!"

"I want all the details by Monday," I ordered with a wink. Alice blushed, but nodded enthusiastically.

**_..._**

"Great job!" I hollered again. Lucy beamed from atop my horse. "Again," I said. "Keep your body low." She nodded, then steered O'Ryan around the corral, and lined herself back up with the jumping fences. She took off, and they leapt over the fences cleanly for the third time today. I heard Esme clap from behind me.

"She's getting good," Esme stated proudly. I turned to her with a wide smile.

"She's almost ready to compete," I said.

"I am?" Lucy asked excitedly as she bounded over to us. "Nana, did you hear that?!" Esme laughed and nodded.

"A few more sessions and I'd say that you could start signing up," I told her. Lucy beamed at the news. Esme's phone rang and she stepped off to the side. I walked up to Lucy and patted O'Ryan's face. My horse nudged me softly.

"Good boy," I said to O'Ryan. "Luce, I was thinking..." I began slowly. "What if you rode O'Ryan at competition?"

"Really? You mean it?" She asked with big eyes. I nodded. Lucy moved her braid to the other shoulder and laid her torso down onto O'Ryan. She stroked his side and laughed happily. "Thank you, Bella! I can't wait to tell Uncle Edward!"

"And Kate," I blurted. Lucy sat up, and her face turned sad.

"I haven't seen her a lot lately," she whispered. Her smiled returned, as if her statement made her happy instead of sad.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I replied.

Lucy smirked. "I'm not!" I didn't understand her enthusiasm, and had no idea what Kate had been up to since I hadn't spoken with Edward much, but it worried me.

"Bella?" I turned slowly to see Esme extending her arm out towards me. I frowned and walked back to the fence. "Edward wants to speak with you."

"Oh," I stuttered. Esme shrugged, then smiled and slipped through the fence. She went to Lucy, and I slowly put the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I croaked.

"Baby," Edward said in his dark voice. My insides instantly went to mush. "I'm flying to Atlanta tonight for an early meeting, but I'll be back tomorrow for Lucy's lesson," he said. My body nearly jumped with delight. My eyes saw Esme and Lucy chatting excitedly, so I turned around, not wanting them to see my beat red face.

"Oh?" I squeaked.

"And I want you," he said. It was absolute, and I wasn't going to protest. I needed him so badly. "I want you slow, hard, fast and rough."

I gasped, and heard Edward chuckle. "Okay?" He asked.

"Yes," I whispered, my knees shaking a bit.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said lightly. I nodded and hummed my answer. The line cut off and I was left in shambles. I knew that tomorrow wouldn't come quick enough.

* * *

**Because I hate making y'all wait... :P**

**Still be voting for Untouchable for fic of the week if you get a chance!**

**xox**


	12. Her Story

_Chapter 12:_

_Her Choice_

After a long and sleepless night, Friday did finally arrive. Lucy was my only client today and she and her uncle weren't scheduled to be here until later in the afternoon. The rest of my day I would be spending my time cleaning and doing paperwork. I needed anything and everything to keep me busy to pass time. I gave Alice the day off to prepare for her date, and I couldn't wait to hear her dish about it on Monday.

Unfortunately, my house was clean, though it was rarely ever dirty anyway. I did laundry and dishes, and took a break for lunch on my porch. I cut an apple and had some sweet tea sitting next to me in my rocker. I laid my head back on the chair, and closed my eyes, finally allowing my mind to wander back to Edward for the second time since I woke up.

I couldn't help but envision his naked body entwined with mine as we moved together as one. Sex was slowly starting to overrule all other thoughts when I hadn't had a release in more than a couple of days. It was unnerving, and it was starting to scare me because I felt powerless. My swing on top of that lonely hill, was beginning to swing faster than it ever had before.

I also couldn't help but wonder about Riley and Kate. Were they together? Was Riley still angry or was he slowly realizing the truth about us? And why was I the only one who saw that Lucy didn't care much for Kate? I worried about that, too, but what could I do? When my mind filled with too many questions, I opened my eyes and yelled in surprise. My mother stood in front of me with her arms crossed, and her foot tapping impatiently.

I clutched my chest and tried to catch a breath.

"Mom, what the hell?" I gasped. My eyes noticed her horse tethered to the end of the porch and eating out my flower bed. Renee continued to stare at me. "Well?" I furthered. "What are of doing here?"

"I told you that we needed to talk, and that I would come over."

"Yeah, well you almost gave me a heart attack, dammit!" I cried, still clutching my chest. Renee rolled her eyes, and pulled Riley's rocking chair from beside me until it was in front of me. I groaned inwardly.

"Talk about what, mom?" I whined.

"About life," she said with a light smile. Talks with my mother usually ended badly since my father passed away, because she was the one that did all the talking. Where was he now when I needed someone to listen the most?

"Not if I won't get to talk at all," I blurted. Renee raised an eyebrow, then sat back in her chair.

"Fair enough." She dug around in her riding vest. "Hand me a liter, dear. And don't tell me that you don't have one. You're as bad as your father when it comes to lying."

I frowned, and could have protested, but I reached into my back pocket silently instead. I gave her my yellow Bic. My eyes went wide when I saw her light a green apple, Black & Mild. She grabbed another from the skinny pack, and offered it to me.

"But..." I took the cigar carefully. "Dad smoked these." I was thoroughly confused. Renee chuckled and passed the liter back.

"Who do you think got him started?" She laughed.

"I've never seen you smoke," I continued.

"I never wanted you to. It was something I did on occasion for me, and no one else."

"Oh," I said. "Me too."

Renee smiled, then cleared her throat. I lit my cigar and took a long drag.

"Now, tell me what is going on with you and Riley," Renee ordered lightly. I was about to protest again, but Renee held a hand up to stop me.

"Remember, you can't lie."

I chuckled softly because I couldn't help it. I was too much like my father in that regard. I took another drag, and leaned back into my chair.

"We split up."

"That much I've gathered," Renee said dead panned. "I'm here to talk about why you split up." I didn't bother asking how she knew, because after all, she was my mother, and because this was a small town that loved to talk.

I shrugged, ashamed. "It's been coming for a while, but he won't face it," I said.

"Good men are stubborn, Isabella."

"Good men are?" I scoffed.

"Yes. He could easily be like most men and give up, treat you badly by cheating, screwing around, or he could care enough to fight. Even if the marriage is over, at least he knows that he fought."

"But fighting for what, mom? It's only made it worse."

"Some people need things to get worse in order to realize the truth." I shivered slightly because she was starting to say everything that I had been saying for years, only I was just now strong enough to say them out loud.

"I haven't heard from him, so he still isn't facing it. He's holed up at the lake house," I said sadly.

"He'll come around. I wouldn't worry about him for taking some time. He's a good man, Bella, and you know that."

"I do know that," I whispered.

"You miss him," she stated matter of fact.

I shrugged, then nodded. "He's my best friend."

"There's more to marriage than friendship."

"Exactly," I agreed. We smoked in silence for a moment, but Renee studied my face intently.

"You think you've made a mistake, don't you?" She asked carefully. I frowned and immediately shook my head. When I looked into my mothers green eyes, I stopped shaking my head.

"I don't know," I whispered sadly.

"I can help you decide," she said. I raised my eyebrows in interest, then took a drag, listening intently.

She leaned forward slightly and her short chestnut hair fell from behind her ear. She pushed it back. "Find what you're lacking with Riley. Do you know it?"

I nodded, my cheeks beginning to burn. I didn't want to tell her.

"What is it?" She asked.

I looked to the floor.

"Oh," Renee replied softly. She knew what I wasn't saying. "Okay, but that isn't enough."

"How is it not?" I countered. "That's a lot, mom. If there's no sexual attraction, then I'm just living with a friend...a roommate."

Renee grinned. "Ah, so there's no communication between you two?"

I nodded my head strongly.

"There you go," she said. I frowned, not understanding. Renee sighed, and put her cigar out. I did the same.

"Being in love isn't what people think," she began slowly. "I know you love him, and he loves you, but love isn't enough, sweetheart. Love is made by two other very important things." I waited patiently for her continue, and suddenly began to truly understand the issues between me and my husband.

"First, you need communication. With communication, you gain trust, and with those two key factors in place, you create love. A love that lasts forever but only if you work daily on communication."

"So you're saying that my marriage is able to be saved?" I asked.

"Not necessarily. I'm saying that your key factors aren't there anymore. At least, not in the marriage sense. Some people loose them over time, and some people never truly have them at all. Bella, I believe that people can be in love with an idea so strongly that they choose the wrong path, and the wrong person."

I swallowed hard and noticed that tears had begun to swell up in my eyes.

"And I also believe that people can love a friend so strongly that they misconceive them as their true love."

I didn't know how to respond, but everything she said made sense, and spoke directly to my wounded heart.

"So," I cracked. "It was a mistake from the start?"

Renee leaned forward and placed a hand on my knee. "No, sweetie. Everything happens for a reason, and you were meant to be with Riley. It's the path you chose. But I'm proud of you for realizing that it wasn't what you wanted anymore before it was too late."

"Too late?" I asked.

"You're not even thirty yet. Wouldn't it be harder if you began to realize this at my age?" She countered.

"Yes. But it's complicated, Mom. Someone is going to end up heart broken, and it's going to be Riley, and I hate that. I don't want to hurt him, but it's inevitable."

"But what about Edward?" She asked nonchalantly. I frowned and averted her eyes. How did she know?

"I...I mean-"

"Isabella," she scorned. "Don't lie. I saw you two at the benefit. I saw the look in your eyes."

I scoffed. "What look?"

"Danger," she said quietly. "Lust. That's when I realized that things weren't right with you."

"Riley suggested everything! It wasn't all me!" I argued. Renee raised her eyebrows, and I relented. "At least, not all me."

She sighed and sat back. "You know, I was with a man for years before meeting your father. We were engaged, actually." My eyes filled with curiosity.

"What? When?" I asked.

Renee laughed. "Keep in mind, I didn't have you until I was twenty-four," she noted. "And I married your father about eleven months before that.

I nodded, sat back to listen, and swiped my face clean. Renee took a deep breath.

"His name was Aaron, and we were inseparable," she began fondly. "We met as kids in our first year of high school. I knew he was the one, I was sure of it. When we graduated and went to college, I noticed that things began to change. I accepted that, though, because everything changes after high school. We planned to marry after college graduation but just a few months before, I met your father."

"Wait, at college?" I piqued. "I thought you met Dad at a lumber yard."

Renee chuckled. "I did. I went to his lumber yard looking to begin building my barn and fences. I had college loans to pay off, so I needed to start work as soon as I graduated."

"Oh. Okay, so you and Dad became friends?"

She shook her head. "Not right away. He was interested, but I had Aaron." She sighed, and was quiet for a moment. "But I will say, there was something about Charlie...all I had to do was look at him and he made me feel things I had never felt before. That's when I began questioning my current relationship. I felt good with Aaron. I was protected, cared for, and we had fun, but as hard as I tried-and I did try-I just couldn't get those feelings from him that your Dad gave."

My mind was reeling into the past as I listened to my mother's story, but it kept jolting to the present, and reminding me of my current situation.

"So what happened?" I urged, when she didn't continue. "Did Dad and Aaron make you choose?"

Renee's face fell. It took her a moment to reply, almost as if she was trying to gather the courage to do so.

"Just before graduation, I told Aaron about Charlie. He was furious. I feared for your father's life until I was able to calm him down. We had life plans already set, and I was breaking them. I broke Aaron's heart, and it ended badly. He screamed that he never wanted to see me again. He couldn't understand. I wasn't sure if I was even explaining it well enough. All I could say was that I loved Charlie, and he was the one. I apologized, but Aaron didn't want to hear any of it. We broke up, and I went to Charlie."

I had a blank stare on my face like I was waiting for more, but when Renee swiped a tear from her left eye, I knew that there wasn't anymore. She made her choice, and it broke a piece of her heart off.

"Do you regret it?" I whispered.

Renee smiled softly. "No. I never have regretted it, because it was the right decision."

"What about Aaron?"

"I saw him years later at a horse show, and I had you on my hip," she said, chuckling lightly. "And Aaron was engaged to be married with a baby on the way."

My heart eased. "So, it was good, then. I mean, it all worked out for the best," I said hopeful. Renee nodded.

"It took time, but yes, it did. I couldn't marry someone when I realized that he wasn't the one. I would only be hurting myself, and Aaron. It wouldn't be fair to him in the long run." Renee leaned forward and looked me in the eyes. "Baby, if Edward is the one, then you need to go for it. Don't loose him. Riley will be okay, and thank you one day."

My heart now sank to the floor and I began to cry. Just hearing her say Edward's name again had me gasping for air.

"Mom," I cried. "I'm ashamed. I don't know who I want. I think with Edward, it's strictly physical, and with Riley, I have the rest." I threw my head in my hands. "I just don't know."

As sure as I had been for over a year that my marriage was over, why was I second guessing myself now? Renee put a hand on my shoulder to soothe me. She let me cry for a minute before speaking again.

"Find your heart, baby. Who holds it?"

"Both," I whimpered.

"No, not both," she countered. "Who holds that certain part of your heart? The one that takes your breath away..."

I peeked up from my hands and sniffled. Renee smiled. "You're going to be alright, sweetie. I promise."

I wanted to believe her, but I couldn't. My swing was spinning furiously in a vortex of confusion. I was waiting for someone to save me, but it was only me that could stop the swinging.

Suddenly, my phone rang loudly from my pocket. I jumped in surprise and reached for it. Renee sat back.

I cleared my throat. "Hello?"

"Hey, Bella."

I almost gasped. "Riley. Hi."

"We need to talk." He didn't sound angry or sad, but absolute.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"When are you free?"

I couldn't cancel on Lucy, and I couldn't refuse Edward because we needed to talk as badly as me and Riley did.

"I have a late lesson today, so I'm free until this evening." There was a pause on the line. "Or we could meet this weekend?"

"No, I can come today. Give me half an hour?"

We got off the phone and relief pulsed hot through my veins. Maybe everything was going to be fine. I had to make a choice just like my mother did. I smiled because I could physically feel my swing starting to slow down.


	13. Memory

_Chapter 13: Memory_

After a heartfelt good-bye and thanks to my mother, she rode off on her horse just before Riley began pulling up the long driveway. I quickly grabbed a beer from the fridge and refilled my sweet tea, making it back to the porch as Riley exited his truck. I thought that I would feel more nervous, but I actually felt empowered because of my mother's story. I was ready to begin living again in a positive and healthy way. Taking this first step with Riley set the foundation for a new beginning.

He smiled as he came up the steps. I leaned in and pecked his cheek, pulling away quickly. He blushed. I offered him the beer.

"Thanks," he said. I nodded and moved his rocking chair further back from mine, but still sitting across from me instead of at my side. I took my seat, sipped my tea, and grabbed another Black & Mild. Riley chuckled.

"You and those damn cigars," he said.

I shrugged. "I know. But-"

"They remind you of Charlie," he finished. "I know."

I smiled warmly. "Thanks for coming." Riley nodded once and sipped his beer. I lit my cigar and eased back into my chair.

"I don't know where to begin," Riley admitted shyly. I laughed.

"Me neither. How about we start at the beginning?" I suggested. Riley nodded again. "You first," I urged.

"I'm sorry," he began. I frowned, but let him continue. "I can't believe I ever suggested a damn swingers bar." I couldn't help but laugh, even though he was being serious.

"Yeah, why did you?" I asked, genuinely curious. Riley shrugged his broad shoulders. I smoked my cigar more frequently.

"Change," he said quietly. "Honestly, I think I wanted it to be the end for us, and I thought doing something so mental would finally get us talking. I didn't anticipate the ending we had, though," he finished sadly, looking to the ground.

Flashbacks of me and Edward in the woods made my heart lurch. "I'm so sorry that happened," I admitted truthfully. "Really, I am. I was angry, and confused, and I acted selfishly by going behind your back."

Riley's blue eyes looked up from the porch and back at me. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel unwanted."

I shrugged. "I'm not sure where I went wrong."

Riley shook his head. "It was me," he insisted. "One day I looked at you, and saw someone different than the woman I had seen since high school. I started to realize that I was seeing the real you, or the you that you're supposed to be. I don't know."

"No, I know what you mean," I agreed. "I felt different, and I didn't know how to talk to you about what I wanted or what I was going through. That was my mistake. We lost communication, and I never tried to get it back. You did, though. I remember you asking if I was alright, and I would just shrug it off."

"I thought you hated me," he whispered. "That's why I started staying out late and going to the sports bar. I never cheated though, Bella. Ever. I swear."

I held a hand up to stop him. "I believe you," I assured. I swallowed hard and decided to ask him everything that came to my mind. If we were finally being honest, I had a lot of questions. "Why didn't you want me sexually?" I blurted.

His eyes shot around everywhere but back to me. An awkward silence passed.

"I don't know," he finally admitted.

"Riley, you did things sexually with Kate that I never knew you were capable of. Why not with me?" I asked, the hurt clear in my voice. I felt in my heart that he knew the answer. He shuffled his feet and drank more of his beer. I waited patiently for as long as I could.

"Riley," I said. "Why?"

"Because I didn't love you anymore," he stuttered. I flinched in surprise. I was more shocked than hurt by his admission.

"That's not the answer I was expecting," I whispered. I took another deep drag of my cigar.

"It's hard to explain."

"Try," I urged dryly.

"With Kate...it was just sex. We all used each other for sex. There was no deep connection for me, so I was able to just...do whatever. But with you, I cared too much. I didn't want to use you like I used Kate. When we had sex, it just wasn't there for me because even though I wasn't in love with you, I still loved you," he said.

I smiled lightly. "Thanks," I replied, unsure of what else to say. "For not using me," I added.

"It was a relief to have you go along with the swingers suggestion, but deep down, I knew that you resented me for it."

"Riley, I got myself into the mess that I'm in personally. Yes, we had problems, but I could have refused your suggestion. I didn't."

"Why?"

I sighed. "Change," I said, taking his answer. "I wanted to live, and I thought I would be by agreeing to it."

"But did you?" He asked. "Live by doing it?"

I thought in silence for a moment. I couldn't say that I regretted Edward, because I didn't.

"I wouldn't call what we did, living," I said instead. "It was two people being too stubborn to speak to each other, and just trying to find an easy way out of a hard situation."

"Guess we found it," he said, laughing lightly. I smiled and we grew quiet. A gust of wind picked up, blowing the tall wheat grass in the field.

"What now? I mean, you're the lawyer," I said. Riley leaned back in his rocker.

"We're both in agreement?" He asked. "To divorce?"

"From the marriage, yes."

"From the marriage?" He asked, clearly piqued.

"You've been my friend far longer than my husband, and I don't want to loose my friend if at all possible."

Riley grinned. "I don't think we'll have any issues being friends."

I sighed a breath of relief and stood up. Riley mimicked me, and we leaned in to hug. It felt better than it ever had before. The air between us was clear and refreshing: ready for a new beginning. I knew that I would have him in my life forever. We pulled apart and sat back down easily. I sipped my tea and started rocking slowly, the wind picking up around us again. Riley's light hair moved with it easily.

He finished his beer and set it down on the porch. "I'll draw up the papers and we can start the process on Monday."

"How long is it?" I asked.

"Well, if we agree on everything, it'll be fairly quick. I was thinking of-"

I shook my head vehemently. "No, I want you to have the house," I said strongly. "Your grandpa built it with his bare hands, and it should stay in the family."

"But the barn, Bella. Your work..."

"Can be done anywhere," I insisted. He smiled kindly.

"Then you get the lake property," he said. I grinned. "You can restart there, right?"

"There's plenty of land, and the barn there would just need some sprucing up. I can build new fences and corrals. I'll be fine," I assured.

"Good. Most of our assets can easily be split right down the middle."

I nodded. I made almost as much money as Riley did in my line of work, so everything else was just sentimental, and we divided all of that up evenly, too. We talked on the porch for a good two hours, before I realized the time. Lucy and Edward would be arriving soon, and that was when I became anxious. I wasn't sure how to talk with Edward. It didn't come as naturally as it did with Riley, yet.

I walked him to his truck and noticed that a rain storm was building quickly in the sky directly above us. I frowned. Riley paused at his door and turned to me. He was smirking.

"So you and Edward, eh?"

I shrugged. "Honestly? I'm not sure yet," I admitted truthfully.

Riley smiled. "Do what makes you happy, Bella. You're getting good at it," he teased. I laughed.

"So you and Kate?" I asked, mimicking his voice.

He snorted at my question, and shook his head. I frowned again, but before I could ask him to elaborate, I saw a small hooded figure slipping through the fence line on the edge of the property.

"Bella?"

I snapped my head back to Riley. "Hmm?"

"I said I'll bring some boxes by Monday, too."

I nodded. "Yeah, good. I'll start packing." My eyes wandered back to the barn. I didn't see the dark figure anymore.

I watched Riley pull out of the driveway just as thunder boomed above me. I frowned and looked back to the barn, wondering if my eyes had played tricks on me. I decided to walk over there anyway.

At the entrance to the barn, I stepped inside quietly and grabbed my horseshoe hammer on the wall. I didn't switch on the lights. Fear started to strangle me when I heard whispering.

"Who's there?" I asked in as strong a voice as I could muster. There was silence for a moment.

"Bella."

My eyes widened. I walked further down the breezeway and saw someone standing outside of O'Ryan's stall.

"Lucy?" I choked in surprise.

"Yeah," she whimpered. I lowered my weapon immediately and jogged over to her. There wasn't enough light to see her face clearly.

"What are you doing here, sweetie?" I asked carefully. She shrugged and looked to the ground, but didn't remove her hand from O'Ryan's face. I went over to the light switch. The barn illuminated in bright fluorescents, hurting my eyes until they adjusted. I grabbed a small blanket from the tackle room and went back to the stall.

"Does your uncle know you're here?" I asked dutifully. Lucy shook her head. I pulled out my cell phone, but Lucy stopped me.

"Please don't," she begged. "Just give me a couple more minutes?"

I sighed and lowered my iPhone.

"Okay," I told her.

I took a seat on the nearby bench and offered Lucy the blanket. Her jacket was wet from rain, and when she removed her hood, I could tell that she had been crying.

"Come sit, Luce," I said softly. The small girl nodded and took a seat on the bench. I draped the blanket around her shoulders and waited patiently for her to speak.

"Nobody wants me," she whispered. I frowned.

"That's not true," I replied with force. "Your uncle and grandparents adore you, Lucy." I didn't notice right away that I didn't mention Kate.

She shrugged. "I heard Uncle Edward fighting with Aunt Kate this morning." My face fell and my heart began to ache for her.

"Oh," I whispered.

"They weren't fighting over me," she said. "They were fighting because of me. Aunt Kate wants our house and wants Uncle Edward to take me but he fought back saying she has responsibilities with me and that she's selfish. Then, Uncle Edward said that it's too painful to even be around me, and how can he raise me on his own..."

Small sobs began to rack her body. I pulled her to my chest and let her cry, trying to suppress my own tears.

"Aunt Kate hates me, Bella. She says I'm too much like my mom for her to handle, and that it's not fair to her to have to raise me."

"Some people aren't meant to be parents, Lucy, but that doesn't mean that they don't love you," I assured.

"I should have died instead," she whimpered. I pulled her back from my chest, and lifted her chin. Her pretty blue eyes were glossy.

"Don't ever say that," I told her. "You mean a great deal to a lot of people. They wouldn't know what they would do without you." Lucy almost smiled, but dipped her head again instead.

"Grandma says I'm all she has left of her," she whispered. My heart broke. I wasn't sure what to say about such an awful situation where everyone involved was heartbroken as well.

"Death is hard," I started slowly. "When my dad died, I wasn't sure I was ever going to be able to get out of bed," I admitted quietly. "But I did, Luce. You know why?"

She shook her head.

"Because I still had reasons to live and to love. I was still here, and my dad would have wanted me to live my life. Your parents want the same thing for you, I know it. You have a great future ahead of you, and even though your parents aren't here, they're watching you. And Edward, too. I don't know what he would do without you, sweetheart."

Lucy smiled as a few more tears slipped from her eyes.

"Will you be apart of my life, too?" She asked.

"For as long as you'll let me," I assured.

"Thanks," she said, swiping her face. We sat quietly until Lucy stood up and wandered across the breezeway, looking at a picture on the wall.

"Bella, what's this?" She asked. I frowned, stood up, and went to stand by her. I glanced at the picture then took it off the wall for her to see more clearly. We went and sat back down.

"That's my mother," Lucy said excitedly.

"What?" I asked in disbelief. I looked down to Lucy pointing at a tall strawberry blonde girl. She stood next to me with two others. My mind went into overdrive and suddenly began to play old and forgotten memories.

"Oh, my God," I choked.

"Is that you Bella?" Lucy asked. All I could do was nod as I continued to stare at younger myself.

"Why didn't you tell me that you knew her?"

"I forgot," I whispered. "I fell off my horse not long after this picture was taken and lost some of my short term memory..." Then, I remembered everything in a big rush. I stood up and started to pace the breezeway slowly as I tugged on a strand my hair. Lucy's eyes followed me every step.

"We both rode western," I began. "And we finished in a tie."

"That's why you both have gold medals," Lucy said. I nodded. "What was she like Bella?"

"Kind," I said fondly. I could envision it all now, almost like a movie playing before me. "She laughed a lot, and she loved horses. I remember her wishing me luck. Was your dad a big guy with curly hair?"

"That's him!" She exclaimed. I smiled.

"He never left her side. I remember he made everyone laugh with his jokes."

"I bet I was there, too! As a baby, I mean."

I laughed softly. "I wish I could have seen you then," I replied. I walked back over to her and took the picture frame. I flipped it over, removed the backing, and handed Lucy the picture.

"Keep it," I told her. Lucy's eyes brightened.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded enthusiastically with a smile. "I'm positive." Lucy threw herself at me in a tight hug.

Before either of us could speak again, the barn door flew open. Lucy and I parted quickly to see rain and wind blowing through the breezeway furiously. Edward's eyes adjusted to the bright light quickly.

Lucy!" He cried, running up to his niece. I dipped my head in shame, forgetting about Lucy running off, and stepped away from the bench. I slowly took out my iPhone and noticed several missed calls and texts from Edward.

He released Lucy and spun around to face me. His eyes were dark and he was soaking wet from rain water.

"My phone was on silent," I whispered. "I was just about to call-"

"But she knew mom, Uncle Edward! Look!" Lucy shoved the picture towards Edward. I watched his face soften as he stared down as his sister, then his eyes shot back up to me.

"You knew her?" He asked, clearly surprised.

I shrugged. "I forgot that I did. I suffered from amnesia a week after that picture was taken," I explained carefully. Finally, Edward smiled slightly and handed the picture back to Lucy.

"Why did you run away like that?" He asked her, his voice stern. Lucy bowed her head, and Edward kneeled in front of her.

"Don't ever do that again. I was so worried." His voice cracked, and I had never seen him so vulnerable before. It broke my heart.

Lucy cried into his chest softly. "I thought you didn't want me," she said. "Aunt Kate-"

"Doesn't matter," Edward soothed.

"But I heard you," she replied. "It's too hard for you to be around me!" Edward smoothed out her hair and took a deep sigh.

"It is hard sometimes, but I could never be without you, Luce."

She peeked her head up to look at him. "Promise?" She squeaked.

Edward nodded. "I love you, and you'll always be with me."

I secretly began to wish that Edward was saying those exact words to me, too.

* * *

**So glad you all liked Renee and her story 3 I am wanting to get this story posted! It is finished in writing, so why not post?**

**Sweet Riley, yes?**


	14. Irreparable

_Chapter 14: Irreparable_

Lucy fell asleep quickly after a small dinner. Edward planned to go home, but decided to let his niece sleep on my couch for a while instead. It was a carefree evening after Edward found us in the barn. I tried to let my worries dissipate so that I could enjoy their company.

I cared as much for Lucy as I did Edward, and it was terrifying. If I lost him, I would loose her, too. One of the biggest fears in life is the thought of someone not loving you the way you love them. I knew Edward cared about me, but what did we really know about each other? Our relationship-if that's what we had at all-was based on sex. It was the opposite problem I had with Riley, and I had no intentions of failing another relationship.

Edward and I moved to the porch quietly and sat down in the rocking chairs. This porch had gotten me safely through two confrontations today, so I only hoped for the same outcome with the third. I sipped my wine cooler and rocked steadily with Edward across from me. He seemed so exasperated by the day.

"I can't believe I let her see us fight," he finally whispered, staring off the porch and into the dark night. The storm had receded leaving everything heavy with water. The frogs and crickets were as loud as ever.

"You never saw your parents fight?" I countered. "It happens, Edward."

He chuckled. "I guess. I mean, I knew parenting was gonna to be hard, but damn does it all seem impossible. How the hell am I supposed to prepare Lucy for the world, and all the shit it's going to throw at her?"

"The same way your parents prepared you, and theirs did them, and theirs before that," I replied softly. "I know it must be difficult, but you're doing a great job. Just look at her," I said, nodding towards the house. "She's amazing, and forgive me for saying so, but I don't think much of that came from Kate."

I could see Edward smile widely. "No, it didn't. And thank you. I needed to hear that. I'm glad she came to you."

"So am I," I replied earnestly. "And about Rosalie-"

"What are the odds of that?" He asked, interrupting me. "You knew her?"

"I didn't know her well. I only met her once. At that competition we tied for Gold and two days later, I suffered from amnesia." Edward's eyebrows raised. "I fell off my horse," I explained.

We both chuckled, lightening the air between us.

"Now that I think more about it," I added, deep in thought. "She was a lot like you. Kind, outgoing, and determined. Not just to win, but to be a good person and treat others respectfully."

"She was great," he whispered. "I miss her a lot, and I honestly don't know what I would have done after loosing her and not having Lucy."

"I know a lot of people hate hearing this, but I believe that everything happens for a reason," I said softly.

"I'm learning the truth of that more and more."

We rocked in comfortable silence. I knew I was going to have to bring our relationship up, but I was dreading it. I suddenly felt all talked out.

"Did you ever want children?" He asked carefully. My mind slammed back down to me as I thought of my answer.

"Yes, but it's just something that never happened. I was alright with that, too, but as I get older, I wonder more about it. Do you? Think of having more, I mean."

Edward shifted in his seat. "I'm sterile, Bella. Another reason I'm glad to have Luce. She's all I'm going to get," he replied sadly. My heart sank as his pain washed over me. I began to understand a lot more about his relationship with Kate, now.

"But Kate was on birth control," I said, remembering our first night together.

"To help her periods, but also to fuck around. I knew she was doing it."

"You didn't care?" I asked, clearly surprised.

"No, I didn't." He paused and sipped his beer, then took a deep breath. I loved seeing his chest rise and then fall again.

"I never knew anyone could love me, because I'm so afraid to love, so I stopped expecting it. If I lost Kate, it wouldn't really hurt me. I married her truly believing that it was the right thing to do and that love wasn't necessary. I wanted Lucy to have a mother and a father. But all I did was keep a monster in our lives. She wasn't always like this though, Bella. Loosing Rosalie affected her in a much different way than me, but as equally bad."

"I know that you never get over the pain of loosing a loved one, you just make room for the pain, and live by the memories. Don't ever think that no one could love you, Edward," I finished in a whisper. "Please."

"Oh, no?" He countered.

"Your parents adore you. Lucy loves you more than I've ever seen a child love in all my life, and I know Rosalie did, too."

"And you? What about you, Bella?" He asked. I could feel all of the blood in my body rush to my heart, pumping so furiously that it was painful. I knew my answer, but I was too afraid to speak it. His face was hidden by the night, and I was glad. I could feel him waiting on my reply, and I knew I needed to say it because he needed to hear it. He obviously hadn't forgotten my almost finished sentence in the woods.

"I thought my love for Riley was the love that I had been seeking all my life, but I've never...loved a man the way I love you," I whispered. Frogs and crickets singing their nightly song drowned out every other sound around me. I spoke my truth, and waiting to hear a reply was excruciating. Edward took his time, so I continued.

"I don't know this kind of love. I don't understand it in the slightest. We barely know each other in any serious way that isn't physical." I breathed a sigh of relief getting all of that off my chest. Riley popped into my head, but not as a husband. He was my friend, and I was taking his advice by doing what made me happy.

"But I couldn't imagine loosing you. Riley came by today, and I made my choice just as he did. It's over, and I can get my friend back. That's the only kind of love I ever really felt for him anyway."

Suddenly, Edward leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. The small light coming from the kitchen window could reach his face now. He wasn't smiling, and it worried me because he had that familiar expression of nothing all over his face.

"There's a difference between us," he whispered darkly, his eyes glistening. "You can't imagine loosing me, but I couldn't handle loosing you."

I frowned. "How do you do that?" I asked, avoiding his statement entirely. "Appear so completely without emotion like that?"

He leaned back and shrugged. "A coping mechanism. With no emotion comes no feelings. How do I get hurt if I don't care?"

"You can," I snapped. "A life alone with no feeling is more painful than heartache."

Edward frowned and studied my face as a dozen different emotions rushed through it all at once.

"So there's nothing for us, then," I stated, rather than asked. "You don't care and I won't stay for nothing."

"I can't care," he whispered. I noticed his voice crack at the end. "You don't want this life, Bella."

"You don't know what I want," I spat annoyed. I stood up and turned to walk away from him, the only emotion left in me being anger. I heard Edward stand, too.

"I work long hours," he said. I stopped walking. "I may have money but it doesn't come without a price. I have a twelve year old depending on me, and every decision I make affects the both of us. I have to raise her, feed her, clothe her, and find a way to love her in the way she deserves. I now have a crazy ex-wife who's going to try and take me for all I am, and my heart is missing from my chest, Bella."

I swiped a tear off my cheek and swallowed hard. "I get it. That's why we can't be together?"

"Yes," he replied. It was barely audible. I spun around quickly and faced him, anger leaving me, and heartache sinking in.

"No," I snapped back through tears, "That's why you won't be with me. You can use any excuse you want to use, Edward, but it's all a lie." I started walking but stopped again when my hand reached the screen door. "You were right...no can love you because you won't allow them to, and you can't love anyone until you love yourself."

I quickly went into the house before he could stop me, and dashed back to my bedroom. I closed the door, locked it, then threw myself on my bed. I hadn't cried so hard over a man other than my father. It was defeating, and I began to feel as irreparable as Edward did.

**_..._**

The Saturday morning sun was bright on my face, so I squinted my eyes and rolled over. I was hot and sticky from not showering the night before. It only took half a second for my heart to begin aching again and reminding me of last night. I prayed for more sleep, but I knew it wouldn't come. I opened my eyes, and seeing the bedside clock I gasped realizing that I had slept ten hours. My face had strands of hair crusted to it from tears, and all of my limbs hurt. I sighed.

A small knock sounded on my bedroom door and I pulled myself off the bed to unlock it.

"Come in," I croaked, taking a seat on my bench at the end of my-too-big-of-a-bed.

"Bella?" I looked up to see Alice and smacked my forehead.

"Shit. The horses!"

"They're good," she assured quickly. "Fed and watered and let out to pasture." I eased back down.

"Thank you. I've become a terrible owner. God, what would I do without you?"

Alice giggled. "You'd have some hungry horses," she teased. I smiled, but it wasn't very genuine. Alice came and sat down next to me. "What happened? You look like a train wreck," she told me carefully.

I snorted. "I feel like one." I rubbed my face and pulled my hair back. Couldn't last night just have been a bad a dream?

"Riley?"

"No, actually we're good. We are getting a divorce."

"I'm sorr-"

"Don't be sorry," I interrupted. "We are both happier like this, I promise. But I do have to move. He's giving me the lake house and there's plenty of land, I just need to work on fencing and stuff."

"I'll help!" Alice replied excitedly. "A new place? We can make it however we want to! It's so limited here."

I laughed. "Whoa there, Nelly," I joked. "Don't you have summer courses?"

She shook her small head, her short, dark hair swaying from side to side. "I'm all done. I graduated with honors a semester early. That's one of the things I came to tell you! I got my letter yesterday afternoon."

I beamed proudly and patted her back. "I'm so proud. Good for you. Now what?"

Alice shrugged. "I want to stay with you," she urged.

My face softened. "But Alice, you have an extraordinary degree that should be used to its fullest."

Alice laughed and rolled her eyes. "It's the same degree you have, Bella. Please let me stay and work for you...with you."

I paused and contemplated her request thoroughly. "Then I'll be giving you more responsibility," I said dutifully. Alice started to bounce in her seat.

"You're not just a horse feeder. I want you in the corrals with me learning all you can on teaching people to ride, and training horses."

"Thank you, thank you! It's really what I wanna do, and we can expand. We could be great partners," she gushed. I smiled genuinely now and turned to her, offering my hand. Alice took it.

"It's a deal," I said, shaking her hand. "Now tell me about Jasper."

Alice's face went from giddy to ecstatic in half a second. "Fabulous! We had dinner and saw a movie and he kissed me goodnight and everything."

I chuckled. "Taking it slow? I'm glad. Become close friends first. Get to know all you can about him, babe." My face fell again.

"I promise," she replied, saluting me. "Now will you please tell me what's really going on? Is it Edward? It is isn't it?"

As much as I loved the girls enthusiasm, she ran at a speed that was sometimes difficult for my brain to keep up with. But she was really the only girl friend I had, and I trusted her. "Yes, Edward. No, nothing is going on." I picked at the hole in my jeans that exposed my knee cap. "Not anymore," I whispered.

"His loss," Alice blurted, then covered her mouth. "Sorry," she mumbled through her fingers. I laughed unamused.

"It's for the best," I said with a shrug. "You can't love someone that won't let you love them."

"That reminds me," Alice suddenly said, uncovering her mouth. She lifted up one side of her hip to reach in her back pocket. She pulled out a folded up business card and handed it to me. "This was stuck in the screen door."

I took the card for Masen Real Estates tentatively, but didn't open it. I sat and stared at it, wondering why on earth he had to leave something behind, making it harder for me to be as heartless as him.

Alice noticed my silence and stood up. "Well, I'll go," she said quietly.

"No," I said quickly. "I want to get started on the move immediately. Are you free?"

Her hazel eyes shined from the sunlight. "Oh, yeah," she said happily. "Lets do this."

I smiled. "There's a phone book in the kitchen. We need to call a moving company. I'll call Riley, too."

Alice saluted me again. "I'm on it boss!"

She turned and skipped out of my bedroom leaving me to myself and Edward's damn business card. I could see what he wrote, or I could throw it away. Part of me wanted the pain it brought to me because it would only feed my angry fire more, making it easier to forget him.

I opened it.

_"I'm sorry I couldn't save you from swinging."_


	15. Stagnant EPOV

_Chapter 15: Stagnant_

_EPOV_

"I'm sorry I couldn't stop you from swinging?" I said aloud, frustrated. I smacked my steering wheel and pushed my foot down harder on the gas pedal.

I was an idiot.

I arrived at Douglas Lake earlier than I was expected, but I didn't have anywhere else to go after work. I wasn't sure what I would ever do without my psychiatrist. It was his day off, and he allowed me to come down to the lake and take a ride on his boat with him for an emergency session.

I made my way down the boat dock until I saw him, David Green, my shrink. I sighed a breath of relief and stepped onto the small, pontoon boat carefully.

"Edward," David said smiling. "You're early...as always."

I smiled embarrassed. "Hey, Doc," I replied. "Need any help?" David smirked and went to sit behind the wheel.

"You and boats? I think I've got it," he teased.

I rolled my eyes and took a seat on the bench, adjacent to where David sat. He turned the key in the ignition, and the large boat roared to life on command. We slowly moved out and away from the dock.

It was a hot summer afternoon and the water was still. David cracked a beer can open and raised one up, offering it to me. I nodded, and took the beer. It wasn't my choice of alcohol, and I never really cared for drinking, but I was going to drink it anyway.

"How's Lucy?"

I smiled sadly. "Okay. She's with my parents for while."

"How's the divorce?"

Divorce? I had been so preoccupied with my thinking of Bella, that I forgot entirely about my ex-wife. I shrugged. We had moved out to the middle of the lake, and David cut the engine. Everything went silent, and it was comforting.

"She's a crazy bitch," I snapped. "But she's gonna take the house and a little money, so I don't care. It's almost over."

David nodded. "And Kate?"

"The crazy bitch," I corrected. David smiled. I threw an arm back over the seat and settled in comfortably. "I don't know what I was thinking with her," I said quietly.

David ran a hand through his thick head of gray hair. "All men make mistakes with women," he explained.

"I really thought it could work, though. We used to be friends, and I thought we didn't have to be in love in order to raise Lucy together. We could be companions."

"But you see now that marrying someone for those reasons can't work forever."

"She doesn't even want Lucy. That's what hurts the most."

"She doesn't deserve Lucy."

The wise man had a good point. Lucy wasn't suffering from losing Kate, so why did I feel like I was?

"You're afraid of doing it all alone, but you'll raise her just fine. Already have."

I smiled. "Thanks. I may need to hear that again and again."

David chuckled. "So why are you really here?"

I frowned, then remembered Bella again.

"Bella," we said in unison. David laughed, and I sighed.

"I fucked up," I told him. "I left her a business card," I groaned and leaned forward to throw my head into my hands. I hadn't seen Bella in weeks because of work and my very public divorce, but she never left my mind. How I treated her that night, never let me sleep soundly.

"You love her, right?"

I looked up and nodded, loosening my collar.

"Then what's the problem?"

"Everything," I said exasperated. "I can't give her what she deserves."

"What does she deserve?"

"The best," I said. "She deserves my heart. I'm so afraid of letting her down. I never cared about anything with Kate. It was easy. We did what we want. I've never even had a serious relationship."

"Never too late to have one," David said lightly. "Fearing love will only keep you from it."

"I can't even give her children, Doc."

"Did she ever ask you to?"

I frowned again. "No, but-"

"Then stop worrying about that. You have no self worth, Edward. How is she going to care for you, and herself, and have that be enough for the both of you? You need to step up, and care for yourself. I don't have any pity for you."

I huffed. "There isn't much to care for," I whispered.

"Bullshit. How many hours of therapy, and this is all it's gotten you?"

I looked to the floor, ashamed. David sighed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"You've suffered a lot in your life, but you're allowing those losses to keep you from living."

"How do I stop?" I asked.

"Take some time to get to know yourself. Fix the things you hate, and if you can't, then accept them. You want Bella, but maybe you should take some time. Both of you. And Edward?"

I looked up. "Yeah?"

"You have to let Rosalie go."

I dropped my head back down and sighed in defeat.

"Remember her, love her, but start living again. You have a lot of good in your life with just Lucy and your family. Why isn't that enough?"

"I just want to be good enough for them."

"The only reason you're not, is because you say you're not, so stop."

He was right. I wasn't allowing myself to move forward. I was stuck in the middle of a pond on a log: stagnant.

"All we have is sex. Great sex, but I want more, and I don't know how to go about getting more. I can't control myself when I'm around her. How do I fix it with her?"

David leaned back and sipped his beer, deep in thought.

"Words," he said.

"Words?"

"Sure. You say all you two have is sex, and that sex is hard to avoid when you're together. It prevents you from really communicating, so try writing her. Don't see her face to face."

"What if she doesn't reply?"

"Keep trying."

_**:...:**_

David Green was a genius. I left him feeling better about my life than I had in a long time, because he made me realize that I was in control of it. Whatever happened, I could make happen. Which really meant, if I wanted to be happy again, then I just needed to be happy with myself. I rummaged through my bedside table at the hotel I had been living in, and finally found it; Bella's folder.

She gave me a signed contract for Lucy's lessons, and a contact card. I smiled widely seeing her email address. I took out my iPhone and opened a new message, typing in her email quickly. I sat staring at the blank document and wondered if this was the right thing to do.

Maybe she would think I was a coward by emailing her instead of going to see her face to face. What if I wasn't very good with words? I sighed, and decided to say the most important thing.

.

.

_Dear Bella,_

_I'm so sorry._

_-Edward_

.

.

I quickly hit send before I could question myself again. I shot off the bed and showered before I went to meet Lucy and my mom for dinner.

_**:...:**_

Four hours later, and halfway through dinner, there was still no reply from Bella. It scared me at first, but then I didn't let it bother me. I would keep trying.

"Edward?" My mother asked. I looked up from my phone.

"Hmm?"

"What is going on with you?" She asked quietly. Lucy was busy coloring across from me. I leaned in closer to my mother.

"I'm okay. Really," I answered truthfully. Esme frowned.

"Uncle Edward," Lucy piped. "Will you take me to my riding lesson tomorrow? I bet Bella wants to see you."

"I have to work, sweetheart," I said sadly. "But I'll go soon."

"Lucy, why don't you go the store and pick out whatever you want," Esme said. Lucy smiled excitedly an leapt from the table.

I looked over to my mother and rolled my eyes.

"What?" She retorted. "We need to talk. How's the divorce?"

"Read the papers," I replied with a laugh. I leaned to the left to peer into the store that Cracker Barrel had attached to its restaurant, and saw Lucy looking at toys.

"Edward," she scorned.

I sighed. "It's almost over, Mom. I gave her the house. She can sell it for a fortune, so she's happy. I haven't heard from her."

"Crazy bitch," Esme mumbled. I started laughing hard. She smacked my arm, laughing, too.

"What about Bella?"

"I'm working on it," I said. My mother knew of the affair because I had told her while it was still happening. She didn't judge any of us, and I knew she would give me good advice. "I saw Doctor Green, and it's all going to be okay."

Esme smiled proudly and laid her head on my shoulder. I took that as a sign, that because she was proud of me, I was moving forward and doing the right thing.

I went to Lucy in the store and took her small hand in mine. She had picked out an art set.

"How're you, Kiddo?" I asked lightly.

"I'm good," she assured. I narrowed my eyes a little. "Really. I am. I'm glad you and Aunt Kate, I mean, Kate, split up."

"Are you?"

She nodded. "It's better for us," she said, squeezing my hand.

"We're going to be just fine. I have to go back to Atlanta for work over the next couple of weeks, but this is the last time they'll need me. I promise."

"You have to be back for Bella's birthday!" She ordered. I chuckled.

"I will be. Let's go house hunting when I get back."

**_:...:_**

I had sent more emails to Bella than I cared to admit to, but I still wasn't going to give up. I sat in my large, hotel room in Atlanta and looked down at my phone. I wondered what I could say that would get her talking. My past emails had been about apologizing, but it was becoming redundant. I laid back and thought about all of our past conversations, no matter how brief they were.

Then, it hit me. We were two people lost in life, hoping to be saved by someone. I quickly started typing.

.

.

_Dear Bella,_

_I know what you feel like all alone on top of that hill as you swing, and swing._

_I'm stuck in the middle of a pond on a log, never moving at all._

_Realizing what I did wrong, and facing it, I found an oar, and am able to start moving myself out of the stagnant water. You gave me that oar by loving me, and I never helped your swing stop moving._

_I want to take things slow, because I still have a lot I need to figure out with my life, but I want you to be apart of it._

_Forever._

_Because I love you, Bella._

_-Edward_

.

.

Twenty minutes later, I had a new email from Bella, and my world began to turn again.

* * *

**A little treat in EPOV.**

**My real life has been very hectic, and will continue to be so this month, so hang with me. I haven't forgotten about you all. Yay, 24 weeks pregnant!**

**xoxox**


	16. Repair

_Chapter 16: Repair_

_BPOV_

_~Three months later~_

Time will never cease. It keeps us all moving whether we want to be or not. I was grateful for time. It continued to show me that bad things do end, and good things begin again. The autumn season was upon us, and Bel and Al's Riding Stables was booming with business.

I wondered why I hadn't gone into business with Alice sooner. She had that bubbly attitude that people loved, and it drew them in. People come for the best when they come to us to board, breed, or train their horses. We had a long list of riders who were eager to learn, and all the space we could ever need at the lake house.

The barn was built in two months: grand in size, painted red with white trim, had three tackles rooms, and two offices that sat adjacent to one another. We had pastures, round corals, and training obstacles. I couldn't imagine a better beginning.

It would be made perfect if only Edward was beside me.

His divorce was long and ugly. There wasn't a local newspaper without his and Kate's name in it. I ignored all of the gossip that came my way. Esme still brought Lucy to me for training on a daily basis after school, and she was set to compete in less than a month. As the divorce went through, she had been staying with her grandparents.

Esme couldn't not mention Edward to me. She found out about our affair from him, and was determined to have us back together. I smiled and shrugged her off. If Edward wanted me, he would come to me when, or if he was ever ready. And he did, but we started at the bottom, deciding to take our time with every little detail. I accepted that he had things he needed to work through, because I did, too.

Kate got the house, and a little money, but that was it, and she was never heard from again. Riley liked to joke around saying that she became a hooker who walked the streets at night. I liked to imagine her that way, too.

I didn't think of Riley as my ex-husband, but as my best friend. It was like time had never touched us, and we were back in high school. He visited often, and began dating someone a few weeks ago.

She was kind, worked for the local judge, and her name was Angela. She was his perfect match, and the two could talk about the environment like it was nobody's business.

I sat in my new office, studying the wall of awards and pictures that I had just hung up. My life was a good one, and I didn't wish for it to be any different. I found my happiness within myself, where I should have went looking for it from the start. My email pinged loudly from my phone behind me. I spun around, and opened the new mail.

A broad smile broke across my face seeing Edward's email address. This was how we had been communicating over the past couple months. I hadn't seen his face since that night at my old house. He emailed me a couple weeks after that, but I didn't respond right away. He kept emailing me, and that's what showed me that he was trying to care, he just needed to work on himself first and foremost.

When I finally emailed him back, it was the right way for us to start: with words, and nothing else. We got to know every little detail about one another without the distractions of physical appearance. Most emails were as long as a short story, and I saved every single one. In fact, I could recite most of them in my head.

.

.

_Baby Bells,_

_I'm here in Atlanta. Sorry I couldn't make it to you on this special day, but I'll be seeing you soon. Make sure you have Lucy give you your gift, and email me tonight._

_With my love,_

_Edward _

.

.

I hugged my iPhone to my chest and sighed blissfully. In learning about each other, we had a lot in common. I didn't worry about children or no children. There was Lucy who had my love.

"We're all set!" Alice boasted excitedly, barging into my office. "Come see."

I smiled and went to her. The fresh smell of new wood overwhelmed my senses with each step I took. Alice quickly put a bandana over my eyes.

"Is this really necessary?" I asked.

"Duh. You only turn twenty-eight once!" Alice boasted.

"Don't remind me," I teased.

Alice insisted on a birthday party. She wouldn't take no for an answer, but I made her promise to keep it small. I had a bad feeling that she didn't, though. She slowly guided me through the breezeway. I knew we were outside when I felt the crisp air of fall wash over my face. I drew in a deep breath as Alice began counting.

When she got to three, she ripped the bandana from around my head. My eyes adjusted to the roundabout part of the driveway full of smiling faces. I knew every one of them, and my heart melted.

Over a dozen voices yelled, "Happy Birthday, Bella!" All at once. I placed a hand over my heart and nodded.

"Thank you!" I gushed. Lucy ran up to me first, wrapping her skinny arms tightly around my torso. I kissed the top of her head.

"Do you feel older?" She asked, looking up at me.

"I feel better being older," I replied.

Alice laughed. "Okay, old woman," she snorted.

"Hey! Twenty-five is almost thirty, so you better be ready," I warned.

"Twenty-five is not twenty-eight," she retorted. I laughed. Jasper came through the crowd and wrapped an arm around Alice's waist. I smiled at the happiness in their love struck eyes.

"Baby," my mother cooed, coming up beside me. She kissed my cheek. "Happy birthday, and happy business," she gushed. I smiled and looked across the drive.

"It is a good business isn't it?" I replied happily.

**_..._**

Food was prepared by a catering company and set up beneath a tent in one of the pastures that lined the lake. There was loud music booming from tall speakers, and after gifts, I was free.

I received many useful things for work, and a few sentimental things from the people closest to me. I noticed Lucy off to the side with Esme on the phone for most of it all.

I sat at a table and watched as couples danced happily to an old song.

"Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting!" Riley boomed. I laughed loudly and turned to see my friend with Angela on his hip. I stood up and punched his arm, then hugged Angela.

"Thank you guys for coming," I said. "And I love the new boots so much."

"I picked them out," Riley said proudly.

Now Angela smacked his arm. "No, he didn't."

"I picked the color!" He argued.

"Okay, he picked the color," she replied, rolling her eyes. I laughed and urged them to dance. I sat back down and saw Lucy running towards me.

"Bella, come with me! My present is ready," she said excitedly. I frowned.

"But you gave me a present already," I said, pointing to her handmade flower jar.

"This is from us, though," she gushed, tugging on my arm.

"Us?"

"Come on!"

I allowed her to pull me away from the tent and into the pasture. She turned to stop me, and held up that same green bandana. I groaned.

"Really?" I asked, chuckling. Lucy nodded dutifully, so I leaned down and let her tie it around my head, covering eyes.

We stumbled for a good ways as the little girl pulled on my heart, too. The autumn air was fresh, and blew my long hair over my shoulders. Suddenly, we stopped. Lucy was giggling.

"Can I take this off?" I asked. I heard Lucy whispering something incoherent, and step away from me.

"Okay, you can look!"

I quickly pulled the bandana away from my eyes, and my heart skipped a beat at the site before me. Edward stood next to a large Burch Tree with Lucy at his side. They were smiling widely. I stepped closer a little, and then saw my true present.

Tears started to run down my face. Edward had attached an old swing to one of the branches of the tree. I watched as it slowly moved back and forth in the wind. Lucy ran up to me.

"Do you like it?" She asked hopeful. All I could do was nod and kiss the top of her head.

I started walking towards Edward. He had never looked so beautiful in faded jeans, a black v-neck, and his hair wild. The color nearly matched the fall leaves around us.

I threw myself into his chest and hugged him. His scent was fresh, and different than I remembered. Maybe it was because we were different. I pulled back to look up into his eyes.

"Happy birthday," he whispered. His crooked grin had me weak.

"Thank you," I whispered. I turned to the swing, but kept an arm around his waist.

"Now we can swing together," he explained.

"Forever," I whispered. Edward nodded and pulled me back, kissing my mouth. It was soft and sweet, filled with our new love.

"Can I swing?" Lucy asked excitedly from behind us.

I broke our kiss, embarrassed. My cheeks ignited.

"Of course," I told her. Lucy beamed and hopped onto the old, wooden seat.

"This is the best thing you could have ever given me," I said. Edward looked down to me.

"Really?"

I nodded. "Your heart."

He chuckled. "Yes. You have that."

"As you have mine."

We embraced and watched as Lucy went back and forth on our new swing, laughing. Her sandy hair blew in the wind.

I wasn't swinging anymore. Edward wasn't paddling out of his pond anymore. We stood on solid ground together as one.

_The End_

* * *

**Thank you for your love on this little story. I hope you've enjoyed it. Feel free to add it to your alerts, as over time, I like to do Epilogues/Outtakes for compilations and such.**

**After Untouchable is finished, my mind will focus solely on the Ride to You sequel.**

**Love you all!**

**-Greye**


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